LOGICAL LAPSES --

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

Everything was hot. Everything, every where, nearly every pore on Annie’s body seemed to be radiating heat. She just sat in the same place and felt the same feelings. It was hard to even think when she felt like this. There were ten thousand concrete blocks piled on her chest, pining her to the bed where she didn’t much want to be. Annie felt trapped within these four walls and it was the worst kind of feeling she could have. Annie was a sickly mass of bad feelings. She was like an ever-growing tumor of negativity. She was a net, a dream catcher for the horrific. Annie was nearly a dream, she thought. Maybe she was just dreaming, and didn’t quite exist the way she imagined herself to. That made nearly no sense at all, but she felt that way sometimes. It was funny the way a dream would overwhelm you. A huge tidal wave, but your back was turned to it. Taller, taller, taler - it just grew up and built momentum until it was suddenly all around you and rushing around you. Scared, and scarred, and swollen with your fear. You couldn’t find the time to swim and then you drowned. Annie’s dreams always followed that route. They scared her and she would rather be dreamless.

Sickness and an empty bed never helped with fears, so she tried her hardest to never nap while Denny was gone. Of course, that meant when he got home she was nearly dead tired and just waited for him to lay down next to her before curling up against him as close as she possibly could. He would probably be sick soon too, but Annie was selfish and didn’t much care. Also, she had this sinking feeling he wouldn’t get sick. Old habits did die hard, especially when you were studied so much. Constantly being under someone’s vision, Annie had felt her resolve waver, shake, and eventually shatter. Symptoms, side effects. The return of such habits threw a wrench into the works of her immune system. Inwardly she turned her head away and let her hair cover her face. When she thought about herself, she felt like her blood cells shrank. They were trying to hide, to disappear, kill her maybe. Sometimes, when Annie was very quiet and Denny wasn’t looking at her, she thought about dying. Not about killing herself, but dying. Just one day falling much more silent than she had ever been. She thought about her skin slowly dissipating to nothing as everything else spilled around her. What would she be then? A handful of emotions left to sway in the wind. White bones sticking up like roadkill. Her words and ideas and thoughts would be forgotten when she was gone... not that she had ever really tried to make them heard anyway.

Annie waited for him to come towards her, climbing into the bed. She slinked towards him like a beaten dog, curling up against his chest. Annie didn’t know why she felt so dejected these days. She felt completely rejected and shoved away and not nearly good enough for anything. Not to mention her head hurt all the time and being sick wasn’t fun at all. She just laid her head against his chest, and closed her eyes. There wasn’t anything to say, she thought. ”I love you.” she whispered, though. It was habit, she said it without thinking. That was so weird considering how long it had taken her to say it so fully. It was such a quiet phrase, and Annie felt sick. She felt like her skin was burning him, but maybe that wasn’t just because of her temperature. Spending time away from him made Denny seem even better when he got back to her, and she felt so much smaller around him. She was lower and lower and lower, and nothing seemed good anymore. Annie especially; she fell, she crippled, she shook. Everything she knew, and everything she was, seemed to be breaking. And the worst part was the nagging feeling that it was all very much her fault. Intensely, all the time, everything was absolutely her fault and Annie just... accepted it. Her heart hurt because of it, but she didn’t really know any other way.

Annie knew exactly where she was when the dream started... well, not physically where she was, but the timeline made perfect sense. She saw the whole thing with a kind of clarity that had been beyond her when the waking dimension version of this instance had gone on. Annie just knew what had gone on, but she could see nothing. Everything was black. There would be a flash of white, of skin, that would make her whole body go cold, and she felt herself sweat, and sweat, and she knew that her legs were scarlet without really seeing; it was like the colors were burned into her skin. First there were arms - and she knew who’s arms those were - that held her to a chest that she was very familiar with. Then, she felt fine. There was an entire torrent of chaos surrounding her and Annie knew this. Everything was terrifying outside of this. She fucking couldn’t see a thing, and that made her skin crawl. She didn’t know what was going on around her. It was a wicked storm of moving things and she felt like there were animals slinking in the dark. There was a flash of light and she thought she saw one, hunched down like a wolf with something gone horribly wrong in it’s genes. It’s mouth was like a crocodiles, and it’s tongue like a snake, wrapping around it’s jaw with a malicious grin. She turned her head and her body shuddered. Then there were cracks, like a storm but she didn’t look anywhere. Nothing seemed right, and the darkness started to press upon her.

Suddenly the darkness burst, and light leeched out, diluting the dark and she felt it’s texture on her body. Annie squirmed and yelled, and tried to stay in those arms, against that chest. It barely worked and her legs were pulled away. Instinctually, she reached towards that chest and grabbed at the shirt over it. The light felt like hands on her body and Annie felt like she would be sick. Her stomach clenched and it almost seemed like a ship on a sea within her body. Her nails tore through the shirt, and she closed her hands like talons, desperately holding on because to let go would be lost. The white was so stark and empty but no matter how light it was Annie still couldn’t see anything, anywhere. There were just feelings, these feelings of the dark seeming malicious, but the light moreso. The light just kept moving, practically along every line of her body, and Annie felt her eyes sting with tears. She couldn’t stand that, the touching. It made her too aware. She heard a tear and then there wasn’t anything to hold on to. Nothing, nothing at all. And Annie felt, with that assurance that a dreams tended to leave with their warped truths, that there had never been anything there at all and Annie was always - had always been - alone.

She screamed out. ”Denny!” her voice said, but Annie’s mind didn’t remember saying it. Evidently, that had really escaped past her lips because suddenly Annie was awake. She must have woken herself up. The sheets were tangled like snakes between her legs and her whole body felt desperately hot. Her hair was tangled and damp from sweat, like wise with her neck all the way down to the deep between her cleavage. Her hairline was drenched. She wasn’t wrapped around Denny like she had been when she fell asleep. Instead she was on her back, just staring at the ceiling - but she felt one of his arms somewhere on her. Her head wasn’t clear enough to understand where it was. The fan spun and it made Annie dizzy. She realized she couldn’t breathe; her lungs felt frozen. It was like when a kid fell off the monkey bars and had the air knocked out of them for the very first time. She started to panic and tried so hard to get air into her body, but it wouldn’t work. She gasped then and finally felt it flood in. Then she was too dizzy, and just too hot.


1,415 words - idk she's wearing what she normally wears to bed - for paigels/denny duuuhuhuhuhuh - yup she's nuts woooo0o0o

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Sometimes life seemed more like a nightmare than Denny realized. He had a tendency to sugar coat a lot of things, except for when the situation was too easy to accept for what it was. The latter was what had happened today. Denny had gone to work, as normally as usual. He was smiling, for the most part, and the sun was out. Music was easy to make when he was in the right mood. Well things had been fine all morning. The equipment didn’t need to be replaced. The lyrics were right there for him to work with, and the current producer was accepting and easy to get along with. Denny liked him, liked the team he had working in the studio with him and Levi, though Levi had only been there part of the day. Same with Boss. Denny was the only one that really stuck around all day, at least today. He didn’t mind; he’d rather have the work all on his shoulders and have it done in a way that he had envisioned than split the work up evenly and run into issues with artistic differences. That was the kind of stuff that broke bands up, and as long as Annie didn’t say anything about wanting to quit, Denny was going to keep the band together.

But through all of that, there were still people that were trying to sway him from what he knew, apparently. It wasn’t that Denny didn’t think highly of the label staff, but some people were just too loose for their own good. Or maybe in this case, too loose for his good. See, when Annie was around, Cheyenne didn’t bother him. She probably feared Annie, and seeing her around Denny must have set her on edge. That was for the best, honestly, no matter how many times Denny complained about Annie being over protective. It was days like today, when he was vulnerable physically, that he wanted the protection. He needed Annie on a day like today, at least to provide that shelter that kept girls like Cheyenne out. On a mental basis, he felt stable. Good. The monster, that secondary personality he had that he hardly told anyone about, was kept at bay. Denny hadn’t been agitated or irritated or aggravated. He was himself today, which was good news until Cheyenne had come along. It had been lunch time, when the producers left to go eat and Denny stayed in the studio to get a few things down before he forgot about them.

She decided to make her move then. He’d been all alone for about ten minutes that had seemed like seconds to him when she came into the room, sat next to him, and started flirting. Denny moved away, tried to keep space, thought about leaving the room but didn’t necessarily want her thinking badly of him. This was someone that was closer to his employer than he was; he wanted to be on good terms with the people that worked the offices of the label so the band wouldn’t have to suffer. Unfortunately, that meant sticking around and letting her hit on him. That didn’t blow over too well; Denny brought up Annie a few times to try and get Cheyenne off of his case, but she was persistent and nearly as determined as he was. So they had that one thing in common, cool, but it didn’t call for him to be pantless with her around. Nothing did, to be honest. That sort of principal only worked with Annie, who didn’t seem to be an issue for Cheyenne. Not that she was for Denny; she was his wife, so in reality Cheyenne was the issue.

But finally, Denny managed to make it out of the label without being forced into taking his clothes off. At least, not completely. He was sure there had been a small slip of his hoodie, but he’d pulled it up instantly and made it home with the article of clothing completely on. Well, not so much home as he was the hotel. This place was too distant, too fancy, too free to be home. When he didn’t have to pay for anything at his apartment, Denny realized it hadn’t felt like home either. As soon as he had a job, as soon as he had to pay his own rent and buy his own groceries (once he wasn’t living off of money his mother gave him), Denny felt that sense of home. That was even after Annie moved in, when his apartment had just been a shelter for home. Home was really Annie, except for when money was involved. As soon as he had to pay, it was home to Denny on two levels, as long as his wife was with him. Either way, he was home in one way and not home in another – this place wasn’t home, but Annie was. And once he was in the room, he found himself shaking still, so he ran to the bed and grabbed Annie against him. It only took a few minutes before he realized how hot she was; he sat up gently and took his hoodie off, throwing it on the ground somewhere because he definitely didn’t need it.

He started to doze off, but only a few minutes after that (and a small roll, leaving one arm around Annie while the other just found a place across his chest), Annie screamed out his name. It was such a terrifying scream that Denny sat straight up, whether or not Annie herself had. His shaking had stopped and suddenly the memories of what had happened between him and Cheyenne meant nothing. They really had meant nothing anyway, but now they were so miniscule that Denny had to ask himself if that had really happened. Had she really tried to have sex with him at the label, or was Denny just loosing it? No, that was real; thankfully, she hadn’t been successful in her ventures; Denny’s determination ended up outweighing hers, so now he was at home, sitting up straight because he was worried. The scream had hurt his ears, and when he looked back down at Annie he wondered what was wrong. She looked a bit better than this morning, but he couldn’t really say if she felt any better or not. That was her judgment to make.

“Yes?” he asked, turning his whole body towards her because straining his neck was not only painful, but also rude. Denny took Annie’s hand in his and moved closer to her, pulling her so that she was leaning against him. “What happened?” he asked, because something obviously had to go down in her head for her to scream like that. She wouldn’t just be screaming out like that for nothing, unless of course that something was totally different than what Denny thought it might be. But he couldn’t hope for that – sex dreams weren’t the first thing he needed to hear about after today. He wanted something to really be wrong; he wanted something to fix, to make better, to prove himself to his own standards of what a good husband was. He knew he was that guy, he just wanted to feel like he had reasons to know that. Denny needed reasons, and he knew fixing something that was broken would give him just that.

1233 words -- cora/annie <3 -- lyrics to dashboard confessional -- denny's in a striped tank top, jeans, and he took off his shoes shhh -- lol when i use the cheesiest lyrics ever for the header. bloop

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

Annie missed her dog. Little Leo, who was growing up without her right now. Growing up out of the little puppy things that Annie completely loved about him. Leo was probably one of the best presents Annie had ever gotten, minus her promise ring and the then engagement ring, which was now her wedding thing just because of the way things had gone. She never got tired of looking at it, watching the way the sun shone through the gem. She would absently run her thumb along the inside of it, just because she liked its feel. Denny was the only one who ever got her anything, but he was honestly a gift in himself. He was the best thing Annie had ever received and the one thing she could never stand to lose. Without him, Annie didn’t really see what there was to do. There was nothing because, to Annie, everything was Denny. Annie’s hobbies were talking to Denny, and sleeping with Denny, and going places with Denny, and fucking Denny (although that was such a frank and unemotional way to put it). Without him, her only hobby was losing weight. Sleeping didn’t really have any immediate interest when it was so difficult to fall asleep without him with her. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had gone to bed without him, to be honest. It seemed like it was muscle memory and habit when she got into bed. She was used to his arms wrapping around her and he would sigh, like he had been holding that breath in all day and was just finally able to exhale it. Everything unhinged and they both relaxed when they were together.

Now though, Annie’s entire body was tense. Her joints felt stuck together and her muscles were just a solid mass that she felt she didn’t have control over. She was shaking, too, tremors all along er body. It was as if she had been struck by lightning. When Denny pulled her over to him, Annie’s lungs seized up again and she started to panic. Nothing was working and she felt like a little girl with him, so tiny and foolish. She tried for huge gulps of air, sounding like she was sobbing without tears. Gasping like a fish out of water, it took a minute or two for her lungs to catch up and then she could finally breathe. His arms made her think of him in her dream and Annie didn’t know what to do. Leaning against him was nice but her body was so riddled with emotions and she couldn’t think with her mind still reeling from her dream. Part of her felt as she always felt with Denny’s arms around her – content, safe, relaxed. But the part of her that felt the tendrils of the dream all too close, it felt very different about those arms. Betrayed, belittled, disgusted. Annie’s body shuddered with such acute indecision and she wrapped her arms around him because she wondered if it would make her feel better. Her body was so hot and sticky and sweaty. Annie was dizzy with the heat that she felt emanate from her body. Her palms were so wet that they slid off his shoulder blades, finding no purchase on his skin and instead they rested on the fabric of his tank top.

Annie’s skin felt on fire. Every inch of her flesh felt like it was burning up with something very different than the kind of heat she was used to. Whatever she was sick with, her body was in over drive to get rid of it. Annie felt dizzy and sick, her whole body shifting under her skin. She knew she should stop. This wasn’t healthy. Fat, fat, fat. She idly wondered if fat was a feeling, or an emotion. Annie swore it was. She swore it was a disease and it was eating her alive. She had long ago kicked her habit and starved it off successfully, but now she was back to square one. Maybe even further back, with the way her mind was unraveling. Whenever she got a spare moment, she would get rid of whatever was in her body. When she and Denny had gotten spaghetti, Annie had eaten, regrettably. For some reason that was when everything started again. She waited until Denny was starting to doze off, and said she would be right back; she just wanted to wash her face. In the bathroom she had run the sink as forceful as it would go to… drown everything out. She felt incredibly guilty when she got back in bed with him. She didn’t know if he was suspicious of what had happened or not – he was asleep when she crawled into his arms. Some part of her was triumphant. Ever shrinking, Annie found some peace in that. She wasn’t yet sure if the guilt outweighed it though.

She laid her head on his shoulder, and his skin was glacial compared to hers. She gasped again when she noticed that. Was she really that hot or was his skin just really that cold? She rolled up against him, pulling her arms from his back and to her chest. She felt so dizzy. The dizziness and heat was the biggest reoccurring theme here. Annie’s head hurt with everything and she was just so fucking hot. She sighed through her nose. What happened? ”You left me,” she said quietly, but it was obvious how much the dream had hurt her from the way her voice was saturated with emotions. Her heart literally hurt with what it felt like for him to let her go, even if it had just been from a wildly outlandish fever dream. She closed her eyes and pressed her head against him more, sniffling. Her voice cracked when she spoke again. ”Don’t ever leave me.”


980 - idk she's wearing what she normally wears to bed - for paigels/denny duuuhuhuhuhuh - shit this sucks

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Denny had made a promise months ago. Back in November, maybe October, because he couldn’t remember when. Maybe it was Thanksgiving when he’d said those words. He’d promised Annie that he would never leave, and by his standards he’d kept that promise. Even when she’d avoided him after Christmas, he hadn’t gone anywhere. Denny had been right there all along. He’d been waiting for her to call, for Annie to be ready to see him, even if waiting had made him mad with gruesome thoughts of what he’d done wrong. Even when he’d been pushed off of her in the hospital, Denny had refused to go home. Visiting hours had been way past over, but he was technically her fiancé then too, and that little bit of information had granted him access into the room that the doctor’s were keeping her in. He’d found his way back, as if he’d never left (or been forced to leave) in the first place. He really hadn’t left, to be honest; he’d just been pushed out of the way and forced to stay in a different part of the hospital while Annie was carted off and their first attempt at a child was taken.

Well that wasn’t something Denny liked to think about. He was making a point, though. He hadn’t left; today was no exception. He hadn’t gone off, away from New York. He hadn’t even gone more than eleven blocks from the hotel, if that. He’d gone to work, and that was acceptable, right? Didn’t Annie understand that without him, the band wouldn’t have the compositions that they had? They’d be another generic band with a generic sound because Denny had to stay home and keep an eye on Annie unless she was going to the studio also. That didn’t seem fair, but on another level, Denny couldn’t get mad at Annie for telling him not to leave her. He had physically left, but he’d gone to work, where he’d been thinking only of her and music until Cheyenne caught his shirt in her greedy little hands. Well even then Denny was still thinking of Annie. Actually, he’d been thinking so hard about Annie that he’d almost seen her in Cheyenne’s place, but that was just a trick of his mind. He had no doubt about that. So mentally, he’d never left. Mentally he never could leave. He’d always be thinking about Annie; he’d thought about her every day since he met her without lapse. He’d been concerned about her since he knew that he cared about her, and not a single second less. His heart only felt for hers from the instant he knew he was in love with her.

So he sighed and traced a few fingers down one of hr sticky, hot arms without complaining about its current physical state. With Annie, Denny couldn’t make faces at her body, as he knew it would poke holes into her insecurities that he would never be able to patch up. Plus, he understood. She was sick; why was that her fault? It wasn’t, and Denny knew that. He was the kind of guy that wouldn’t pick on someone for something they couldn’t control, or maybe that really only pertained to Annie. Either way, he ignored the negative feelings coming from her skin and just ran his fingers up and down, up and down. “I never left, Annie.” Denny would swear that until the topic was so worn that if it were a piece of paper, it would just split down the center on its own. He hadn’t left; he’d just gone elsewhere temporarily. There would always be one place that Denny would return to, and that was Annie’s life. He would never exit that for good, unless of course she wanted him too. If he ever did anything that would make her want that though, Denny wouldn’t have a purpose to keep living, to do anything. It’s likely that if Annie asked him to leave, he’d disappear from the world, not just her life.

“I promised.” Denny kissed her head, holding Annie close to him. Her heat was uncomfortable, but he didn’t say anything. Now that he’d taken off the hoodie, he could stand the temperature of her skin, it was just a matter of that temperature being so high that he was honestly worried. He thought about taking her to the hospital but those thoughts just lead to the previous one about the first time they’d been to the hospital. Denny wasn’t sure that Annie could handle another hospital trip, especially since the reason she was so……off these days was, in some part, because of the second miscarriage (Denver refused to call it an abortion – that was too harsh of a word to think of, and it hadn’t been Annie’s choice). “I promised that I would never leave, and I haven’t.” Although he was ready to fight with his reasoning, Denny didn’t think Annie would be up to it. Maybe she was talking about something that had happened while he was at work, and for all Denny knew that was the case. He’d been gone all day, but he hadn’t left – if that made any sense at all. It did to Denny, and honestly that was all he was concerned with on that subject. At least, for the moment that was how deep his caring went. He’d make Annie understand if she’d listen to him, one way or another.

For the time being, he kissed her head again and sighed once more. “You need anything? I could call for some hot tea, if you want.” And that was a good thing about the hotel. Free food, beverages, television – the works – all the time. Denny never had to pull his wallet out when the label was paying for these things. That did leave him with a sense of searching for home, but that was easy to find when he was with Annie. He didn’t have to worry about feeling comfortable with where he was if she was there, which might have been why he’d been thinking about her so much at the studio. The day’s work was done early, thank god, so Denny was able to get back to the hotel before 3:30. That didn’t change the situation any. Annie was still sick; she still woke him up from the state between asleep and awake with a yell, and she was still shaking. Denny still had to take care of her, but not because he had too, not because he had some contractual obligation to make sure she was okay just because he was her husband. Denny had to take care of her because it was the right thing to do – for the both of them. He loved Annie too much to see her like this; he had to work to make her better to make himself better.

1148 words -- cora/annie <3 -- lyrics to dashboard confessional -- denny's in a striped tank top, jeans, and he took off his shoes shhh -- oh hi hello

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

Annie didn't think she would ever fall asleep now. She would be stuck in this half asleep, half awake stage, and the moment she would start to doze off, she would panic at the prospect of dreaming again. She was so tired and her mind wasn't right in her head but sleep didn't seem reasonable. Her body felt uncomfortable and... basically everything was uncomfortable. The side of her head that was buzzed felt almost itchy because of the short hairs and sweat. She was hot and dizzy. Annie's head felt a million mikes away, and she liked her lips. Part of her felt the need to clarify what she meant by him leaving. "In m-my dream," she said quietly, her eyes closed and her face stuck in an unhappy expression; almost in pain, but more irritable than anything. "You were holding me, and they pulled at me," Annie sounded a way she had never quite sounded before when she said that - terrified. Absolutely, deathly afraid. "and you let go and... and you left." She kept her eyes closed, but her shaking got a little worse. She didn't move other than that. 

Annie moved a bit so she was in Denny's lap, kind of laying across it with her head resting in the crook of his neck and shook her head when he asked if she needed anything. She kept her hands curled up against chest like a bird's talons. His cool skin was a relief against her feverish forehead, it made Annie sigh and relax a bit. She still shook intermitedly. Her sweaty hairline probably wasn't that comfortable for him, but Annie was too shaken to care. It was weird, how vulnerable Annie let herself be around him. Just overlooking it, Annie had really opened up everything to him. That's why they were married, after all. No one else even knew this part of Annie existed, didn't understand that she even had the capacity to be so vulnerable, let alone did they ever witness it. She kept these feelings an this part of herself totally under wraps. But here she was with Denny, completely defenseless. Every wall was down, every tender point unguarded. She really didn't have anything in that moment. It should have been an empty feeling it wasn't, exactly. Annie was just a little kid in his arms. All of that defense and sarcasm and bitterness didn't exist. She just was hurting right now. Hurt was the underlying emotion to everything that Annie felt, it hid underneath everything else. Now there was nothing else. Just a raw fear of ring left and hurt with everything that had happened already.

She made a noise somewhere between a hum and a groan, and moved. One of her hands pushed against his chest and she tried to sit up but her hand on his chest folded back to her. She didn't have strength to do anything. Annie was weak from being sick and laying in bed constantly. She was tired and disoriented to, just lacking motivation to do anything. Her head was uncomfortable and she felt sticky. Annie just wanted to be somewhere else, she wanted her head to feel different. Basically the only thing that was positive in this situation was Denny being there, holding her and kissing her forehead and saying he wouldn't leave. She wanted to take a shower or something, anything to make this feeling go away. Maybe get all this sweat off, maybe cool down, maybe anything. Annie sighed and opened her eyes, trying again to move. When she moved successfully, her hair fell like a curtain between the two of them. His hands felt good against her back but what she wanted was to get up, for some reason. Finally, Annie was sitting up and she moved to the edge of the bed.

She stood up, and immediately her vision swam. Everything went together and she swayed dangerously. Her head felt horribly light and it was almost as if it was floating away. This whole feeling was like when you stood up too soon and everything went black. You lost all your senses; you couldn't stand and your ears buzzed and everything was black, just because the blood was rushing to your head. In fact, that was exactly what happened; Annie couldn't see anything, couldn't calculate anything. And gravity felt so rough suddenly, so intent on putting pressure to her body. She bent her knees, ready to just lay down on the floor so she didn't fall. Lay on her side and rest her head until she felt comfortable again. Falling meant hurting more and Annie was too weak to do anything. Her chest was tight once more. From behind she felt Denny's arms wrap around her and she wasn't falling anymore. She twisted so that she was chest to chest with him. Everything seemed slower, and pressing on her from the fever. She clutched his shoulders with greedy fingers and rested her head on his collarbone until she could see. His skin was, again, a comfort. She sighed but it sounded strained. "Don't leave me." she said quietly.


855 - idk she's wearing what she normally wears to bed - for paigels/denny duuuhuhuhuhuh - shit this sucks

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

She’d dreamt of the hospital. Denny couldn’t tell which one from her description (as in which trip), but it had happened, and it kept her from letting him out of her sight for too long. He couldn’t really blame her though; Denver knew he’d do the same if he dreamed of Annie leaving. He’d be hyperaware of everything she did, and although he’d have to work, he’d work around her staying as close to him as he could manage. For now, that just entailed keeping her against him. Since they were the only ones in the room, Denny didn’t really have to worry about Annie just walking away, especially since she was sick and hardly able to move let alone walk. Still, she thought he’d left. That dream was inaccurate; why was she believing it? Denny hadn’t left. The doctors let him run alongside the bed they had her on for as long as he was allowed to – as soon as they were heading into visitor-restricted space, they pushed him off as hard as they could until he had to let go. His fingers wouldn’t hold onto the cold railing of the bed anymore. His hands slipped and he nearly fell to the ground – thankfully, there was a wall behind him instead that caught his back and kept his ass from hitting the floor.

But none of that had happened on his own will. Annie knew that, right? Denny hadn’t let go because he wanted to – he’d had to let go because he had no other choice. She did understand that, right? Denny hadn’t meant to let go; he would never let go. He couldn’t ever let go. The doctors had forced him into doing something he didn’t want to do; they pushed him out of the way with such a force that he couldn’t fight them. His world stopped there; he’d sat in the hospital with a blank mind and an empty meaning of life. He spent time that he couldn’t count in complete silence; the hour of the night meant that there was no family hanging around in the waiting rooms. Visiting hours were over. Denny could remember the silence that spoke so loudly to him. It called his name, made him think about what had gone wrong. Annie hadn’t fallen down stairs, and she’d barely had the chance to be pregnant. It was funny though, because when he’d first met Annie, she hadn’t seemed like the type to want to be pregnant, to want to be a mother. But then when she knew she was pregnant with his child, Annie wanted it more than anything. Denny wanted it all the same, even though he had been okay with thinking that maybe he’d never have kids of his own either. It was the fact that this was the product of himself and Annie, something they did together that made it so desirable.

Denny couldn’t keep thinking that way though. Keeping his head down low wasn’t something he needed to be doing for himself today. He had to remember that the baby had been a possibility – not once, but twice. He couldn’t think of them as terminated beings, he had to remember them as what they might have been. He and Annie could have had a family, and that was what he needed to imagine. After Cheyenne today, Denny had to keep himself mentally happy, stable, so that the secondary personality didn’t come out and attack Annie at her most vulnerable. He had to force himself into remembering that dream he’d had a while back, with the two little kids, the pets, and Annie. In his dream, regardless of Annie’s dream, she’d been his wife, and the two little kids looked like the perfect combination of the two of them (if you meshed them together, anyway). One of the three, if you counted the children individually, was already accomplished. That was something for Denny to remember for himself. He was Annie’s husband, which meant that his prophetic dream wasn’t a total lie. He had to keep faith that one day they’d finally get to have children and grow their small family together. He didn’t think Annie would be able to handle children and the band, but the music came second to her. If need be, Denny would give up the label, the awesome paying job, the fun and freedom that being in a band gave him; he’d go home to Cape Cod and be a father with that humdrum job at the book store.

It took Denny a minute to realize that Annie was attempting to stand. He’d been so caught up in his own thoughts that he turned and stood just in time to wrap his arms quickly around her waist. Denny caught Annie before she fell to the ground; he held her gently but with enough strength to keep her on her feet. Honestly, she wasn’t heavy one bit, no matter what she thought. Denny suspected that she was torturing her body again, but he couldn’t make any accusations without hard evidence, especially not now. He had to be supportive, stable, someone that understood what she was going through with or without personal experience. He caught what she’d said, and he sighed again. Denny rested his head on her shoulder and looked at her jaw, which was all he could see from that vantage point. The sweat and the heat didn’t bother him anymore suddenly; it was just a part of the sickness that he’d gotten over. He’d rather Annie be happy than not, so holding her regardless of the sweat and heat was a must. He just didn’t care though, so he sighed again and quickly kissed her skin. “I won’t. Don’t worry. When I make a promise, I keep it.” How many times did Denny need to remind her of the promise? It wasn’t that doing so was getting annoying, it was just getting redundant. Didn’t she remember that he’d promised he would never leave? Why did she feel so strongly that he’d already left and had just happened to come back, like he’d broken his promise?

Denny stood straight up again but moved closer, so his body was right behind hers. He looked at the bathroom, then at her sticky wet skin, and shrugged a bit. “Would a shower help? Might cool you off,” he said. Honestly he didn’t care if they took a shower together or not; Annie was sick and he would give her the space she needed if she wanted it. All she had to do was say that she wasn’t ready to take a shower with him and he would just go and sit on the bed, watch some t.v., and wait. He was aware that there was some unwritten rule that he wasn’t really allowed to go to sleep without Annie, but really that rule was a bit obsolete. If he fell asleep before she was in bed, Annie just climbed in and wrapped his arms around her, cuddling up to him because that was how she was used to sleeping these days. It had been such a long time since he’d had the bed to himself, but Denny didn’t care. Without Annie there, the bed felt cold and large, like it was going to swallow him whole while he dreamt. The fact of the matter was that one way or another, he couldn’t really sleep without Annie there. So if she wanted to shower alone, he would let her, but he wouldn’t really be able to shut his mind off until she was back in his arms.

1269 words -- cora/annie <3 -- lyrics to dashboard confessional -- denny's in a striped tank top, jeans, and he took off his shoes shhh -- hi

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

Annie wasn’t the same as she had been. First she had been alone, for a very long time she had been alone. Annie couldn’t really grasp her life when it had been like that. Annie didn’t know how she wanted her life to be like. But alone hadn’t been part of it. Annie had never really imagined the thing she had wanted. Goals and dreams and hopes had never really seemed to be in her grasp. They weren’t something that always caught her attention. Annie didn’t even notice the foreseeable future; it didn’t exist to her because she had no need or use for it. The foreseeable future wasn’t so to Annie; it was much further and twisted and not relevant to her life. When she tripped over that funny emotion love, when it dug it’s fingers into her life and gave her a hard look into the face of who she was, everything changed. Annie knew she couldn’t be that girl anymore. It just wouldn’t make sense or work. Annie began to look at this person she was, and she didn’t like what she was seeing. that’s why changes had to be made. Annie changed the way she acted around others, and she changed the way she did things. It was the tiny emotions, the minuscule changes that Annie couldn’t even name, that made the most difference. It turned her into a girlfriend, and then a fiance, and then a wife.

Denny’s lips felt so good against her skin. She closed her eyes and sighed, leaning against him because it was easier. ”I won’t. Don’t worry. When I make a promise, I keep it.” That kind of worried her, though. It wasn’t a promise, she thought, it just was. But at the same time it calmed her down. Don’t worry, so she didn’t. It was just... Annie was so afraid of him leaving that sometimes she couldn’t pull her head away and notice that he really wasn’t going anywhere. Not to mention they were married, so there would be paperwork to make that even more difficult. Trust was just.... difficult for Annie. Sure, she had gotten over the initial fear of it with Denny, and she trusted him to stay around and kiss her and not hurt her in ways that she had been afraid of before. She trusted this feeling of being in love, and she knew that it was right. She knew it was a good feeling to have, she knew that love, the feeling in itself, could be trusted. But other things... Annie still had a difficult time trusting and believing other things. It wasn’t Denny that she didn’t trust. It was fate, it was destiny, it was however things were going to end up. What if they didn’t end up going her way? She couldn’t even blame him, if they did. She loved him too much to do that.

He was pressed up behind her and Annie just closed her eyes and sighed. That’s what she had been going for anyway, a shower. Or even a bath because hotels had huge, luxurious bath tubs and she really just wanted to get this sweat off. Her fever was probably breaking, which would be a reason she was so hot, but still it was uncomfortable for her. Annie hated being uncomfortable in any way, shape, form, emotion, setting, anything. It was her same idea for social situations, for anything. She would watch other people, wary, trying to find things to hide herself. Whether those things be rude comments or mean faces or Denny, Annie just didn’t like to be upfront with who she was. Most people didn’t like that side of her anyway, so she kept it reserved for select people, at select times. Annie was just all about hiding. Hopes, dreams, anything, she pushed them down into the deepest part of herself because she didn’t know what else to do with them. Save those things for someone who can use them, she thought. Give those nice things to nice people who will appreciate them. I just ignore them. A few of her ideas that she’d gotten, just a few small hopes that Annie had let herself indulge in, has blown up horribly. And that didn’t really make her too fond of the idea of letting them out of that deep, dark, part of herself.

She sighed again. Her body felt tired and falling apart, nearly. Annie didn’t know how to put words to these feelings, but they were there. She moved her head, and rested it against him. There was an immense amount of peace in just being held by Denny. There was an immeasurable amount of solace in having him so close and just against her back, and just there. It was a comfort that would always mean something to Annie, forever. She never wanted to lose it. ”Mhmm...” she said softy, an affirmative noise to the idea of a shower in any sense. She didn’t move at all though, just kept her eyes closed and sighed again, enjoying this moment for all that it was worth.


860 - idk she's wearing what she normally wears to bed - for paigels/denny duuuhuhuhuhuh - shit this sucks

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

To think that it had all started with his mom. Well, that’s obvious. Without her, Denny literally wouldn’t be here. He’d just be another egg – or maybe that was because of his dad. He didn’t like to think about Eric Hurley though; he’d been a total asshole the last time Denny had seen him and he hadn’t spoken to Eric since. Donna, yes, but Eric was pretty much banished from Denny’s life. But that wasn’t the point. The fact of the matter was that Denny wouldn’t be where he was without Donna. She’d pushed him out of his apartment back in Cape Cod almost three years ago now; she’d talked him into going out and meeting people, so without her he wouldn’t have met Annie. That was the starting point. Now Annie was Donna’s daughter-in-law, a piece of Denny’s family that he could never thank his mother enough for. He couldn’t imagine his life now without her; she’d given him the ring he’d used to propose to Annie, she’d talked him into going out the night he’d met Annie, and she’d been the only one to trust Denny enough with his decisions out of his family that didn’t include Annie.

But He’d already thought about his life without Annie. He wouldn’t have one. He’d have a dark abyss filled with morbid thoughts and eventually, an untimely death. Especially now. Sure, he’d let her walk out if that was what she really wanted, but that would really only happen if he believed that he was the last thing she would ever want ever again. Denny wouldn’t just let Annie out of his life without a fight; he’d bring his all until he was sure that she really didn’t want to be with him anymore. After that, his life would take a turn for the worst. He’d stop caring about the band and go home. He’d lose his apartment; he wouldn’t be able to hold a job; he’d have to move back in with his parents; he’d never leave his room unless his mom made him; he’d only eat when Donna force fed him; he would wish he was a bird so he could fly away, but alas because he was not a bird, Denny would have to sit in his old room that smells of some material his mother had replaced his clothes that had been in the closet with; he’d lose himself to the secondary personality that really only takes over when Denny can’t control himself; and eventually, he’d end up just giving up on life. His last breath would be taken in that room and in vain. That was his foreseeable future without Annie.

Thankfully, he had Annie. She was right there, in his arms, and there he was, engulfing her because he knew that the both of them liked it. He liked holding her and she liked being held by him; it all worked out. And that was a funny thought – how everything just worked out between them. Annie liked to be touched (by Denny), and Denny liked touching her. Denny liked to know that someone loved him, and Annie seemed to like telling him that she loved him. Maybe that was because she knew he wasn’t taking that for granted; Denny knew Annie way too well to even consider that. Why would he take this for granted anyway? This was his life; without what they had, without this marriage, Denny was nothing but an empty black hole that sucked up all the happy and sunshiney things in the world and made them horrible and dark. It all worked itself out. He needed a reason to live and Annie (without really knowing or caring at the time) needed a reason to believe in something. Denny had given her that reason; Annie had given him the reason he’d needed. Denny had needed someone to believe in him and Annie needed someone to believe in. That was just the way they worked, and it was astounding that anyone couldn’t see that. It baffled Denny when people said they didn’t believe in the longevity of this marriage because, if he didn’t have that, what did he have?

With her little moan, Denny sighed, but not in a sad or disappointed way. He just sighed, that was all. He slightly turned Annie’s body and picked her up, holding her close to his body because that was just how he did things. He liked keeping her close, despite the sweat and the heat. Denny got over that easily. The sweat was going to be washed away by the shower and the heat would cool down eventually, and Denny was a particularly patient person. He could wait for that. But then again, he must have felt cool to Annie – otherwise she might be asking him to keep his space because she probably wouldn’t be able to handle her hot skin and his on top of the sweating and the gross feelings that he knew came along with being sick. Either way, he carried her into the bathroom because she wasn’t objecting to his holding her. Denny let her sit on the toilet seat after closing it, only letting her go so he could push the curtain back and turn the water on. He turned back and pulled his shirt off, just putting it on the ground because he didn’t care where it went. It was a cruddy tank top; he’d pick it up later and assess any damage if there would be any.

“Need help?” he asked sincerely. Annie had had a hard enough time trying to stand on her own; what made him think she could push herself to do simple things like taking her….or rather his shirt off to get in the shower? But then again, if Annie said she could do it on her own, he’d let her. It wasn’t something he was going to force; he was just offering help. Quickly, after she answered, Denny turned back to the water and checked it, finding it at an acceptable temperature for himself, but wondering how Annie would think of it when she got in. He didn’t have to worry about that though; she’d make that judgment soon enough. Once Annie was ready, Denny helped her up and into the tub. Then he stepped out of the rest of his clothes and got in too, instantly holding onto Annie because he feared she’d fall over and hit her head on the faucet. That wouldn’t be good, especially not today. So Denny was just on the defensive, making sure she didn’t trip and break a bone because Denny was sure that the hospital was the very last place on the planet that Annie wanted to pay a visit to. But he couldn’t show that he was really worrying too much. At least, he didn’t feel like he should, so he sighed, wrapped his arms around her waist, and smiled lightly. “I love you.” He really just said it because he didn’t have anything else to say, but obviously there was truth to his words. He wasn’t just throwing them around, and he knew that Annie would know that too. It was just one of those things that worked out between them.

1208 words -- cora/annie <3 -- lyrics to dashboard confessional -- denny's in a striped tank top, jeans, and he took off his shoes shhh -- good morning cute denny right?

[ANNABELLE MARIE HURLEY]

It felt good for him to pick her up and carry her like that. Annie sighed in kind of an irritable way, like half of the sound was stifled... if that made sense. So much deja vu in that moment. He carried her everywhere it seemed. Annie was so used to the way that the movement went that it was so easy to go with it. The familiarity that was there was something she was used to. That was an alarming thought to her, still. You think that being married would make one think, alright, this is familiar. You’ll be here for a while. Get comfortable, get used to things. Annie couldn’t seem to do that, though. She would never get used to it. Familiarity wasn’t something Annie had ever experienced before, and despite the actual meaning of the word, she wasn’t used to it at all. When something felt familiar, she was surprised by it. It set her into this weird feeling that such things would be familiar for a while. Kissing Denny had a certain ring to it that Annie recognized; his brush against her skin was like breathing sometimes; him carrying her was like falling asleep at night.

Obviously the familiarity bothered her occasionally. Well, not so much bothered as threw her off. It would worm through, bad ideas were birthed by something nice and regular. Off-setting moods would seep into Annie’s ideas of things. Familiarity was nice - while it lasted. Then it took forever to reach the same level of familiarity that she had gotten so used to. Ripped like a carpet from under her. But Annie didn’t want to think about that, on whatever conscious level was still remaining in her head at that point. Hadn’t Denny just driven into her head for the thousandth time that he was staying? Annie would keep her train of thought on that idea. The idea that she was sitting in the bathroom watching him take his shirt off and turn on the shower. This was something she would have... forever. Part of the reason Annie was so adamant about him not leaving her was because it seemed to large and fairy-tale like to imagine such an immense happily ever after. Forever was a very long time, but Annie really didn’t mind that she’d be spending it with Denny. He didn’t make it as scary as it could have been. Annie was looking forward to it, kind of. That didn’t mean that it was any less ludicrous or stranger for her to imagine though - she was just a bit less apprehensive to the idea of it now.

When he asked if she needed help, Annie didn’t really know the answer yet, so she stayed quiet and pulled her shirt off, which seemed easy. She had to bend her head over her legs, though, because she couldn’t get her hands up so high. She felt incredibly weak, like she was about to fall apart, and Annie wasn’t very fond of such a feeling at all. She reached back to unhook her bra but that’s when more weakness came in and Annie had a hard time getting the mechanics of it all down. ”Denny,” she mumbled for him to help her. And his fingers were warm when they brushed her back the way they did. To Annie, this seemed really intimate even if it wasn’t leading to intimacy. It was easy to shed off her clothes and silence her mind and just hop into bed with someone. Annie had done it plenty of times before this relationship. It was different with Denny, of course, but that wasn’t anywhere near the level of such quiet closeness that they were at right now. Annie had never let herself be vulnerable with anyone. Annie was a stiff mask of self assurance. This wasn’t what she was used to. Annie had opened up everything to Denny. She had let him into the inside of her mind. She had let him make a home inside her heart, and, really, he head cleaned the place up and done it some good; he fixed the parts that didn’t always work. But this was Annie being open. This was more intimate than anything, really.

Soon he was helping her into the shower and Annie had her hangs gripped on his shoulders when his arms snaked around her waist. She rested her head against the crook of his neck again. The water seemed an alright temperature, and even if it didn’t help the heat, showers always felt nice when you were sick. They washed everything away. Even if she was just standing in one spot with all her weight against him, it was still nice. She picked her head up and tipped it back so that her hairline wouldn’t feel so gross from the sweat that had bunched there. Hearing that he loved her was very good. Therapeutic, maybe? Anything that involved him felt good to her. This whole relationship was good for Annie, even if it made her feel crazy sometimes. Being married was surreal. Annie Hurley seemed like a person that didn’t exist. Annie felt like she never existed sometimes. Just imagining everything. It scared her to think something like that. And again, the level of consciousness she had now was making her start to panic almost, so she just took a staggering breathe and buried her head against Denny.

Stepping out of the shower, she didn’t let herself get very far from him and she was kind of just acting like an infant, almost. She didn’t have a lot to say and not a lot of range to move, so she just stayed as close as she possibly could to Denny, and he ended up putting the towel around the both of them through this embrace she had. Annie just didn’t want to let go. Letting go of Denny scared her, like maybe he would just dissipate into the air and she would be alone, utterly abandoned just because she had taken her hands off of him for a second. It scared her. Impulsively, with almost no thought, Annie lurched onto her tip toes and kissed Denny in the space between his ear and jaw. ”What are you most afraid of?” she whispered.


1,052 - idk she's wearing what she normally wears to bed - for paigels/denny duuuhuhuhuhuh - shit this sucks

[DENVER CARLOS HURLEY]

Fear was something Denny hadn’t been acquainted with until he’d been put in juvenile detention. He’d known what the word had meant, but back when he was sixteen, Denny hadn’t really ever felt fear. It wasn’t say that he’d been fearless, it was just that he hadn’t really come into any situations where he had been confronted by the emotion of being scared. But then he’d been arrested, and suddenly he was scared of everything. He was scared of himself, scared of the world. What was next for him? He’d been scared of the future. Denny had been stuck in a cell for months with nothing but his own thoughts, and even those scared him after a while. When he’d been released, and finally had moved out of his parents’ place, he was scared of the world. He didn’t admit it and he probably still wouldn’t, but at that time the people, the situations, the happenings scared him. That was why he didn’t leave, among the fact that he knew people would look at him as a criminal and not who he had been before the accident. When his mom had kicked him out for a few hours, Denny was honestly scared of opinions. He’d feared what people would say, what they would think once Quasimodo was finally out of his tower.

After that, there had only been two things that Denny was scared of. One of them had been the second personality he was cursed with. He didn’t know how to control it properly – still didn’t – and he was afraid that it would burst out of nowhere and crush everything that was happy and good. It hadn’t at first, but the more irritable he became, the easier it was for him to succumb to its control. That was an instant hint, which was surprising because Denny could tend to be a bit oblivious. He’d caught on to the fact that he needed to be strong, that he couldn’t go for days without sleeping because it would leave him vulnerable to the personality that scared him more than anything. The second thing was Annie. It wasn’t Annie that scared him, actually. He could handle her. It was the thought of her leaving his life, and the closer he got to her, the more he feared her departure. And the more he got to know her, the more he realized that she wasn’t really going to leave. At first he’d been a bit apprehensive; what if she just changed her mind as fast as she changed her moods? What if he wasn’t good enough anymore, and Annie just decided to leave? That was his biggest fear of all.

So then Annie asking what he was most afraid of now was easy to answer, but at the same time, not so much. He could tell her the whole truth, but he wasn’t sure that that was the right thing to say. ‘I’m scared that you’ll leave me’ made him sound like he was insecure, something he wasn’t allowing himself to show, or even worse, that he didn’t have faith in Annie. But then again, she was the sporadic one, but he couldn’t blame her for that. It was just the way she’d been raised. Annie didn’t have any backing structure behind her upbringing the way Denny did. He’d had both his parents, a normal childhood, and he’d been……structured, for lack of a better term. Annie hadn’t had that life. He didn’t know too much about her past, but he knew enough to be able to pass judgments, usually ones that either he didn’t share or wouldn’t offend her in any way. While her fears made her human, his fears made him vulnerable and practically a disgrace. It wasn’t even so much the vulnerability that was the issue; Denny knew he could be vulnerable with Annie and not really have an issue, as long as she was willing to deal with it. Apparently she was, considering she’d asked him what his fears were, and since his fears made him vulnerable……well, it made sense in a redundant manner.

For a few seconds, he just held onto her. Thinking about Annie leaving, even if only to answer a question, put him on edge. He felt like maybe if his fingers weren’t on her hot skin, she’d be gone. He’d turn around and she would only be a figment of his imagination – or maybe she’d be like that one guy in that movie that couldn’t control his time traveling. Maybe if he let go of her, Annie would come in and out of this time and totally screw up Denny mentally. His whole life would be different if she walked out, if she left, even if she couldn’t control it. That scared Denny more than he knew it would. Through the fear, he knew he had to answer her sooner or later, and the longer he made her wait, the more fearful she would get. It was a vicious cycle – and it had been a while since he’d used that term, but there it was. The more Denny was scared, the more Annie would get scared. He sighed and forced a smile onto his face, and though at first he had to push it there, once it was in place it was stuck and he couldn’t stop smiling. He probably looked pretty odd for the conversation at hand, but suddenly he didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

“Not much,” he started, figuring that sounding fearless and strong was a good way to come off for now. He had to be the stable one, the one that could take care of the both of them when they needed it. For now, Annie needed it more than he did, and Denny kept that in mind. “The biggest thing, I think, has to be,” he paused and shifted as close as he could towards Annie, just trying to make sure no one was just going to turn around and disappear. “The thought of you leaving me. I mean, if it was really what you wanted, I’d let you go, but I have so many reasons to believe that it’s not what you want.” And now he was curious as to why she wanted to hear him be so vulnerable. He lifted a hand and pushed some hair behind her ear, although it was wet and knotty (Denny didn’t care, honestly). “Why?” he simply asked in a curious tone, but not in an accusingly curious manner. He just wanted to know why she was so interested in what scared him, rather than what made him stronger for once.

1107 words -- cora/annie <3 -- lyrics to dashboard confessional -- denny's in a towel thank you annie -- hehe