Post by ABIGAIL CASSIDY PIERCE on May 14, 2011 18:47:34 GMT -5
abigail cassidy pierce
twenty. drawing blanks/delirium. manager. brittany francis.[/center]
[/size]" my history? well that would be quite a long one. and not a very happy one at that. i have a mom and a dad. i guess you could say it was a weird coincidence that my mom fell in love with my dad. but sad my dad couldn't fall in love with my mom. when they were in high school my mom was the shy one that got good grades. she didn't like that she tried so hard to please everyone. and then my dad came into the picture. he was so popular in school and always had girls all over him. he was so beautiful. at least that's the way my mom saw him. and not much has changed since then. anyway, she want to a party one night. and they talked a little. my mom never told me the rest of the story out loud. but when i was younger, i could see the whole night play out in her head exactly the way she remembered it. i thought it was so romantic back then. but things have changed. the party ended but not before they found a room. my mom was in love and he had already forgotten her first name. the next day at school she waited to see him. but he was already with another girl. she was so heart broken. she walked up and slapped him. she told me it was the best she ever felt. he was confused but moved on. truth was, it happened to him all the time. a few weeks passed and my mom was late. she kept waiting for it to come, but it never did. and then another couple weeks later, morning sickness. when she realized what she had done, she cried. her life flashed before her eyes. everything she had ever worked toward and college, and being a teenager. when she built up the courage to talk to him again, she told him what they had done. he denied it. said that there was no way it was his. but he knew. my mom told her parents and they gave her some money and kicked her out. said they didn't want a teenager that was knocked up. she ended up moving in with my dad. he lived with his mom, father split before he was born.
so nine months later there i was. my parents got married and my dad was left to support us until my mom could go back to school. he want to some nice school and i was raised by my mom. my parents fought a lot. so much screaming and hitting. mostly done by my dad. my mom kept covering for him though. telling me it was just because he was stressed. i of course saw he was really mad. the fighting with my parents got worst. more hitting and screaming. my grandma thought about running away with me. but she would never say so out loud. even when i asked her. but she knew i knew.
i hardly saw my dad. he was never in my life. he wasn't important to me. just someone who hit my mom. she was everything to me. i knew she was stupid for staying with my dad. but there was no talking any sense into her. she was madly in love and needed to be with him any way she could. and even if it was only when he hit her, or when she was on her back. i hated my dad. he made my mom an awful person. when i was older and got into trouble, she she never gave a second thought to hitting me. it was just something she did. something so she could release her anger. she needed an out lit and i was the only one there for her. i was nine when my grandmother died. i cried for a week and wouldn't go out of my room. i was nine and already depressed. i wanted to die. but my mom almost did that for me. without my grandmother there to protect me, the hitting and screaming got worst. my dad never hit me, just my mom. he knew i wasn't the one at fault. even though i was the problem. both of my parents hated me. i could never do anything right with my mom and my dad was never home.
high school was when i found part of myself. in the past couple years leading up to my freashman year, my mom became an avid alcoholic and chain smoker. she had one friend that was almost in the same spot she was. they were neighbors. she was one one good person in my mom's life, even though she didn't help at all. in ninth grade i took off. with all two of my friends from middle school i was going to all the parties and hardly getting by in school. i had started drinking, lost my virginity, smoked pot, and gotten into a couple of fights before the year was over.i got into more fights with my mom and saw my dad even less, now that i wasn't home on the weekend and most weeknights. he liked it better when he didn't see me. saw me as nothing but a problem. just wanted me out of the house. i tried to tell my mom. he had been cheating on her with more girls than i could even count. she ignored me and hit me when i said anything bad about him in front of her. i came home drunk from a party one night. i went out to the back porch where my mom and neighbor were sitting, drinking and smoking. i grabbed a cup and poured myself a glass of wine. my mom didn't even notice me until i started to pour. she had this furry in her eyes. she couldn't believe i was taking her wine. i sat back in my chair and just looked at her. i read every thought she had. and not one was concerned about me. just about her wine. i took another sip before i said anything. and i remember this conversation so well. "what the fuck do you think you are doing?" "well it looks like i am drinking a glass of wine." "give that to me." and held her hand out like she was expecting me to listen. i drank the rest of the wine in my cup and handed it back to her empty. her friend just sat there and laughed at me. "what the hell are you doing abigail?" "just trying to connect with my mother. you looked so lonely. and dad's having an affair so i thought you needed some real love." i spoke to her though slurred words and a sweet voice. the rest was a blur but in seconds she had me pins against the wall. she threw me and slapped me. then she turned me around so my back was to her and my nose was against the cement wall. i could hear her lighter light. i smelled the sent of a burning cigarette before it touched my back. but all of the sudden there was a sharp pain on my back lest shoulder blade. my skin popped and i could feel it burning every part. i was on fire. all of me. i screamed and my mom's friend just kept laughing. i tried to move, but my mom was stronger than me. i was trapped and had no where to run to even when she let go of me. the cigarette was completely gone when my mom dropped me. i just collapsed and felt dead. it was also the most alive i had felt after my grandma died. i never spoke to my mom after that.
i was sixteen then. two months later i ran away.i found my way to cape cod. i was drinking myself into a coma when i meet annie. she was crazy, but everything i needed right then. she didn't ask questions and we became friends. she had a boyfriend and a band. i fell for the bass player. there was something cute about him. i swore i would never get attached when i ran away. but he seemed like the exception to every rule i made for myself. but strangely i am okay with that. i like living in the moment. yeah sure i am drinking too much, but i don;t really care. so far so good. the band got signed and somehow i became the manager. i still don;t know how that happened, but at least now i have a job i don't hate. still underage to drink, but it's all in secrets. i hardly manage a band and drink all the time. life is not that band anymore. "
ALICE. FOREVER. INFINITE. how do you get a virgin pregnant?...... you fuck her.