Post by EVANGELINE KAYLA WINDSOR on May 13, 2011 22:50:09 GMT -5
evangeline kayla windsor
twenty one. drawing blanks/delirium. drum tech. sierra kusterbeck.[/center]
[/size]"there isn't anything wrong with me.
i've made that quite clear to everyone. i do not want to hear people saying there is something wrong with me. i am liable to light your prized possession on fire. i don't care if you cry about it for weeks, you shouldn't have said anything about me. my mother was the main person who thought i had major problems. i may or may not have lit the curtains on fire, but i put them out before anything happened, almost weekly. she would tell me that i was wrong in the head for doing that all the time, i just was having fun. i liked the way that fire looked, i still love the way it looks.
one day i just couldn't take it any longer. i couldn't handle her constantly putting me down and then putting on her make up and walking out to whore herself out to everyone in the world. she opened her legs for someone new every night and she would come home drunk, and tell me how worthless i was. i couldn't take it anymore. when one of her little boys slipped out one night, mom was left alone, drunk, passed out. if i was so worthless, so ugly, so stupid. well i would just show her how ugly she was. her hair? her favorite thing about her, i cut it all off in her sleep. after i cut all her hair off, i lit the curtains and let it burn. i walked out of the house like it was nothing, i already had all my things packed and in my car. my mom woke up to the smell of smoke and she walked out screaming at me. i didn't care until a few words slipped from her mouth; 'i should have left you with your worthless father and your sister.'
sister. i had a sister all my life and i didn't know. i yelled back at her and asked her what the fuck she was talking about. i had a twin fucking sister all my life and she never thought it would be a good idea to tell me. i got in my car, and i drove off. i stayed in a hotel for a day or two, looking up who my father was, finding out my sisters name. then in the next few days i drove out to where she lived and i met my sister. annie didn't know what to say, she didn't know she had a sister. it wasn't anything too bad after that. annie and i weren't close, not at all. she really just wanted denny and i didn't mind. i understood. i just wanted to befriend her somewhat. we shared the same looks and the same blood, i couldn't help myself from wanting to be her friend.
i stuck around with her and her friends, who became my friends over time and then her band got signed. so of course i came with, tagging along as the drum tech seeing as the label gave them a drummer and then yeah. the rest was history. i don't really know what to say other than i'm happy with my choice.. i hated living with my mother, maybe she was the cause of my supposed insanity, but i don't care. i don't regret anything i did, she deserved it. the house burned down, i heard from a few friends of mine. she lost all her fucking possessions in the fire and thats all she cared about. my friends asked her if she even cared i left and she told them that i was just a worthless piece of shit, why would she care?
i spent most of my time alone as a child anyways, my mother didn't ever stick around. she was always out fucking some idiot with money, she was a gold digging whore. i didn't give a shit, i had music and my dancing. i adored dancing and i still dance from time to time, i just don't have a lot of time to go and dance. as much as i love it and its my passion, i do fine working as a drum tech so i'll stick with this. i think i'll just do what i can and make myself happy as time goes on. i'm content with myself, my lighter, my friends, and my work. i don't need much more really.
i'm just happy being myself finally."
jenn. 69 bajillion. sixteen. sociopath klusterfuck.
