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Post by samuel on Jul 28, 2010 0:57:47 GMT -5
 Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
sam tried his best not to blush when he was talking to sean. sean just made him feel like a little kid with his very first crush. sam wanted to tell sean everything about his life, and in return get to hear sean's story. he wanted to know what it was about this boy that drew him in. sam did his best not to be distracted by him while he drove, but boy did he think about pulling over and kissing him. it was so tempting, and all he had to do was make something up like running out of gas. but then sean would probably wonder why the car magically worked afterward. sam wasn't even sure if sean was into guys... he hoped that he would get some kind of hint. as if the holding hands wasn't enough. sam just wanted to be one hundred and ten percent sure before he acted on his desire. but boy, the feeling was strong, it reminded him a lot of the feeling he got when he needed a fix. but he was glad at least this time the need wasn't going to cause him to pass out and wake up in the hospital.
it had been so long since sam had actual feelings for something that could quite possibly have feelings back. he was completely terrified. it was a good feeling, but at the same time he was afraid to make the wrong move or that he had misunderstood the boy's signals. he was extremely worried when he just blabbed about his addiction. there wasn't a lot of people who knew about it, and sam had worked hard to keep it that way. he didn't work that hard just to blow it on some boy, but sam felt he could trust this boy. when the boy reacted to what sam had said, he didn't dare to look at him, and prepared for the worst. but when it didn't happen, he was able to breath a sigh of relief. sam looked at him, really tempted to kiss him on the lips for being so understanding. it didn't take much work for sam to tell him as he had thought it would. his brother and sister pestered him for weeks until he finally claimed the drugs that were hidden in the dresser as his own.
he looked at sean when he was finished, thinking that he didn't want him to get out of the car any more than sean did. "no, i don't want you to leave either." he smiled, dropping his hand and placing it on sean's thigh, gently massaging it. "and trust me, it's way in the past." sam assured him, realizing that he had found an even better alternative to the drugs and it was driving shot gun. at first sam had thought that his small comment at the end when unnoticed, until sean brought it up, realizing that he wasn't off the hook yet. "you're right... cute is an understatement." sam smiled, glancing at the boy to see a bit more redness in his cheeks than he saw that before. were his cheeks that red before? or was it the light that had given them the illusion. whatever the reason, it allowed sam to see his dimples a bit better when he smiled. then something came over sam. he couldn't remember the last person he had made smile like that, and it felt good to see it again, especially after such a long period of thinking that he was completely unappealing. doing drugs and going into rehab does that to a person. it made them feel unholy and ugly. no one would want them after what they went through... but not sean. he didn't go screaming like the others. sam knew that he liked this boy for a reason. it was as if he couldn't hold it in any longer. he pulled over to the side of the road and looked at sean. he unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned over, using his hand to direct sean to face him and kissed him.
at first the kiss was shy, but as soon as the initial thought was over, it became more determined as he kissed him passionately. his lips lingered on sean's face for a bit, as if to savor every last drop of the kiss. sam opened his eyes to see sean's face in a whole new light, as well as the background of what appeared to be his place. "well, what do you know, we've arrived." sam said, though he didn't budge or turn off the car. his mind was racing at the speed of light. he couldn't believe he had just made the first move. it was so unlike him and so exciting. he never thought he would find another hobby that boosted up his adrenaline and made him feel the way that drugs did. it was unbelievable how quickly sam was falling for this kid. sam had never really went for things unless they were approached to him first, especially involving another dude. but the boy did hold his hands, sam couldn't possibly be the only person who was feeling some sort of connection between them when they linked. he wasn't going crazy. sean had agreed to go to his place, although sam would have driven anywhere sean had wanted to. it was as if sean had planned all this out, like he planned on running into sam at the club and planned to go back to sam's place. of course before a few hours ago, sean had never met the boy, but the way sean had seemed to stumble into his life, he felt like it was destined to happen. and for once sam was glad that he had done drugs. if he hadn't, he would have been inside the club either too doped up to notice sean or sean was hidden amongst the crowd of people. he would have never come to sit out in a boring old parking lot, reminiscing about the ups and downs about drugs, and therefore sean would have never spot him out.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 1022
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: 
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 28, 2010 17:02:48 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSWhen Sean stopped talking he could feel Sam hand on his thigh. Sean couldn’t believe he was still blushing. He had never blushed so much in his life. But just being next to Sam, and Sean could feel his face get hot. He wanted to know everything about him. And he was even prepared to tell Sam all about himself. To completely open up to him. He had never done that with anyone. He was always just the silly, goofy kid. Loud and funny all the time. He had opened up to a couple people in the past, but never as much as he wanted to open up to Sam. It was a weird, and different feeling, but he liked it. He snapped out of his thoughts when Sam started talking. "You're right... cute is an understatement." The words filled his head. Sean had gotten compliments before, but it felt different when it came form Sam. It made his insides melt and butterflies fill his stomach. He had never felt this way before. He never let himself feel this way before. Never let him self be so vulnerable with another guy like this. He was scared out of his mind. Couldn't really believe this was happening. He was happy though. Truly happy and content with just sitting here next to Sam. He wanted to do more than just sit there, but he was being selfish. Sam's hand felt nice on his thigh. He got a shiver up his spine. He could fell the goose bumps on his skin. He put his hand on Sam's. He still couldn't believe this was happening. Sam just seemed so perfect. Sean didn't even think about Sam's drugged up past. He didn't need to. It was the past. And as long as it didn't mess up Sam's future, Sean would be fine with it. Drugs definitely scared Sean, but there was more to Sam than just drugs. And the fact that Sam wasn't perfect, made him more perfect. When Sean thought about it, it didn't make sense, but it didn't have to. Nothing had to make sense when he was with Sam.
Sean looked out the window and saw Sam was pulling over the car. He couldn't really tell where they were, but Sean really didn't care. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam leaning towards him. Sean tuned around to face him. He could feel Sam’s hand on the back of his neck guiding his face forward. Right into a kiss. The kiss Sean had been waiting for, wanted even. Sean was kind of shocked at first. And the kiss was shy and unsure, but it grew. It was passionate. Beautiful. Sean didn't want it to stop. He wanted to lean more fully into it, but something was stopping him. His seat belt was still on, he could feel the pressure on his neck. For once Sean had wished he never put it on. He could feel Sam pulling away. And he let him. The kiss lingered for a bit though. When the kiss ended Sean's head was spinning. Any doubts he had before, wondering if Sam way gay or not, had been cleared up. And Sean was happy. He could feel a stupid smile grace his lips. Whatever red had been there before from Sam's last comment was now a deep, deep red. Sean's face was on fire. And the spot on the back of his neck where Sam was still holding him was tingling. His skin had goose bumps and he still couldn't think straight. So, when Sam said something, Sean didn't even understand what he said. He heard words, but they meant nothing to him right now. He just looked into Sam's eyes. Sam said something about arriving. But where were they going? Where had they arrived at? Sean tried to rack his brain for some understanding. "What?" Sean tried so hard to understand what Sam had just said. But his head was still swimming.
Sean looked around and noticed the apartments this time. Oh, right, they were going to Sam’s apartment. Sean’s head was starting to clear. But only ever so slightly. His face was still hot and he could tell it was still a deep red color. He didn’t move though. Didn’t want to move. He was happy being this close to Sam. And he really didn’t think he could move, even if he wanted to. He legs felt like jell-o and he still couldn’t think straight. His insides had melted into mush. Any movement in general made Sean light headed. But he thought he should say something. Anything to break the silence. “So, umm… Sean cleared his throat. “Umm… do you want to go in? Umm… to your apartment?” Sean couldn’t help but stutter after that kiss. He still couldn’t think straight and he couldn’t even begin to tell how much time had passed. Seconds, minutes, hours… days? It all blurred together. Sean didn’t know. He didn’t really care either. Sean was happy he had walked out of that club when he did. Happy that he even deiced to go out tonight. Happy that Sam was sitting on the hood of his car in the same parking lot Sean was walking in. Happy he was bold enough to talk to him to begin with. To Sean, everything about tonight was right. Perfect even. Sean have never really believed in fate, but this was pretty close. He was happy that him and Sam had somehow ended up together, tonight. Sean felt so drawn to this boy. It was a strange thing, but he didn’t mind it. It was a nice feeling. He was happy to be where he was. Right in this very place sitting next to Sam.
words• 1010 words. XD
notes•haha I love Sean. he is so cute! XD this post is kind of a fail.... sorry.
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Jul 29, 2010 2:27:17 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
sam forgave sean for stuttered. heck, he was shocked himself. he didn't expect to kiss him. that was only supposed to be in his mind. he was afraid that sean would turn him down, but when sean didn't react in a bad way, sam almost though to continue. no, not now. they weren't even in a private place yet. sam was not going to take advantage of a cute, adorable guy like that. he wanted to get to know him, not scare him away. sam was glad he didn't seem to mind the unexpected kiss. heck, it was amazing. the whole four seconds it lasted, it was memorable. sam couldn't remember the last time he had kissed someone and it actually meant something. it was nice to not have to worry about the sexual tension between them or have to live up to his talk. sam was not in the mood for that, believe it or not. what he was really in the mood for was popping in a movie and cuddling up to sean. as corny and silly that sounded, sam couldn't picture a more perfect night. he unlocked the doors after sean replied, hoping that the walk to the door wouldn't kill the mood between them.
sam was nervous for sean to see his place. not because it was messy or embarrassing in any way. it wasn't at all embarrassing, he just wondered what sean would think of him. a person's living space can tell someone everything they needed to know about that person. at his apartment, sam showed a lot of himself in what he kept around the house and what he didn't. he reluctantly opened his door and stepped out. he went around and opened up sam's door for him, holding out his hand. "sir?" he said politely. he lead sean to his door, keeping his hands laced with the other boy's as he lead. he unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped in. "welcome home. please, make yourself comfortable. do you want something to drink?" though sam wasn't stuttering, he was a bit shaky in his voice. there was no doubt he was nervous. as he looked around, he could see that his brother and sister were no where to be found. since sam had given them keys, they practically lived here. but fortunately, tonight they had the place to themselves. this seemed to calm down sam, he didn't want them scaring off sean. his siblings had good intentions, but they sometimes became overbearing. sam knew it was because they were worried that sam would crack and they didn't want there to be any reason for him to relapse, but it was annoying. what did they want him to do? not open his heart to someone who might hurt him?
sam knew that sean wouldn't hurt him. he needed to know what it felt like to be cared for again. sam wasn't necessarily looking for someone to love, that someone to love found him. it was the last place sam ever thought he would find love, the crime scene of his accident. it was ironic, and a bit funny, but sam was glad that it happened. he didn't know how much longer he'd have to wait otherwise. he walked into his kitchen and opened the refrigerator. he reached in and pulled out a bottle of wine. there wasn't much, but just enough for two glasses. he poured the drinks and then carried them both out to the living room, handing on to sean before taking a seat on the couch. he looked at sean, patting the seat next to him, hinting for him to join. sam wondered where this night would lead. he was a bit excited to hang out with someone without having to worry about drugs. if his brother and sister knew how little he thought about that kind of stuff when he was with sean, they would probably want him around more often. it was nice not having to keep it a secret with sean. he didn't have to keep any secrets from him. maybe that was why sam had the courage to kiss him. there was no need to be secretive about how he was feeling at that time, even now. sam hadn't been attracted to someone in a long time, it was nice to have a small crush forming in his mind. it made him feel wanted again, something that he hadn't felt since before he was an addict. feeling unwanted was exactly what drove sam to crash. he wanted to fit in and have fun with people, so he drank and did drugs. it never really satisfied him though unless he was completely wasted.
sam looked at sean, after realizing he had been distracted and sort of spaced out. when he snapped back into realization, and saw sean's face, he stopped thinking about the drugs and smiled. if only sean had been there when he was in rehab, he would have recovered much sooner than he did. there was something about the boy's face and body that stood out in his apartment. he had never thought something so foreign would fit so perfectly in his apartment.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 865
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: me too... total fail but i'm exhausted from work.
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 29, 2010 23:12:49 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean heard the doors of the car unlock. His head was still kind of spinning, but he made a move to get up. He tried to get out of the car, but it was a difficult task for him. He was still having a hard time recovering from that kiss. But he made it out of the car. He followed Sam to his apartment. His legs still felt like jell-o, but he was walking in the vertical position, and that was all he could ask for at this point. Sean was kind of excited to see Sam's apartment. He didn't really go over to other people's places, he was more of an outside person, but he was happy to be at Sam's place. Even if it did take him a while to remember where he was at. He just couldn't get that kiss out of his head. It just kept replaying in his head like a movie. It had been a while since he had kissed someone. In fact he couldn't even remember the last person he kissed. He thought about Stevie, but it wasn’t the same. Yeah, he liked Stevie but he could really count him as a real kiss. He was more of a… he really didn’t know. They had sex once or twice, but he just didn’t really like Stevie that way. He like him as a friend and that’s really all they were. And Sean was happy that Stevie saw it that was to. So, sadly enough that left Jack. The first boy he had ever kissed. And the last until Sam had come along. And he was happy that he had. Jack was a great first kiss for him, but he was gone. He didn't know where he was, or what he was doing. He hadn't talked to Jack since Alison caught them together. Sean still wasn't sure what had really happened that day. It was still fuzzy for him. They talked for a little while, but then what happened? Who kissed who? And why was Sean’s shirt off? It hurt when he thought about the situation for to long. He really had liked Jack, but he knew it would never work. Jack was going away to some collage and Sean was two years younger than he was. He hated the way that he left things with Jack, but at the same time he couldn't be mad either. Maybe that was just the way it was supposed to be. This way he got to be with Sam, and he couldn't really ask of anything more, without being to selfish. He was happy where he was right now.
When they got to Sam's door, butterflies set into Sean's stomach. He wasn't really sure why, though. Maybe it was because he had never really been in another guys apartment all by himself. He waited for Sam to open the door for him. He took Sam's hand and he spoke. Sir? Sam was so cute. He looked around the apartment as he walked though the threshold. It was nice and clean, unlike Sean‘s. Sean really needed to clean his place before anyone came over. He was normally a neat person when it came to putting things away, but he had been really busy lately and kept forgetting to clean. But now that he thought about it, he should do that the second he gets home. Do a laundry run, and just in general clean the place up. He didn't want to be embarrassed by his place, if and when anyone ever came over. He listened to Sam as he said welcome home. That sounded nice. It almost had a ring to it coming from Sam's mouth, and as far as making himself comfortable, he was already comfortable around Sam. He didn't even have to try. It took him a second to realize that Sam asked him a question, and it took another second to realize what the question meant. Ummm... yeah, sure. Ummmm... anything you have is fine. Sean was surprised he could talk to Sam. Nothing became awkward for them, though. This was different. He like it though, it was like there was no pressure. Yeah, he could hear Sam's voice shake when he spoke, but that was cute. His voice wasn't exactly steady either, but it was nice. He watched as Sam poured two glasses of wine. He was kind of happy for the alcohol. Sean had a couple of sips of something he ordered at the bar, but he couldn’t even remember what it was at this point. He hoped it would calm his nerves. He was still a little heated from that kiss. He really liked Sam, and it felt like they had know each other so much longer, than only a couple hours. He took the glass from Sam's hand. Sean brushed his hand in the process and smiled. He wasn't even really sure why, but he did anyways. He watched as Sam went to go sit on the couch, and almost forgot he was just standing there looking at him, until Sam made a gesture about sitting next to him. Sean could feel the wings of the butterflies in his stomach beat against his insides. He went to sit next to Sam anyway though.
Sean sat down right next to Sam, maybe a little closer than necessary, but he couldn’t get enough of Sam. He was everything Sean had been looking for. He needed someone to be with. He really wasn’t looking to hard before, though. Sean was just kind of going with the flow. Talking to people that would talk to him, but he really only saw everyone as friends. But then Sam came along. And Sam is amazing. Sean didn’t even know what came over him when he started a conversation with the random boy sitting in the hood of his car. But he was happy he had. Happy for everything. Then a thought came into his head. How was he going to get home? Did he want to go home? No, he wanted to stay with Sam. Sam was great to be around and he didn’t feel like he had to light up when he got nervous around him. And that was new. every time he got nervous he felt like he had to smoke. But Sam made that feeling go away. And he was happy that he had. Sean thought he should say something, anything to break the silence and also to let Sam in. In on everything. “So, I guess I can’t drive home tonight. Not only do I not have a car but I have also been drinking.” Sean said the last word in a sing song voice. “So, I guess I could walk home… but these New York streets are just so scary at this time of night… Sean kind of let the sentence hang there and waited for Sap to reply. He hoped he would say that he could just spend the night here, with him, all alone in this nice apartment. It was a nice thought. Sean would love more cuddle time with Sam. He even scooted over on the couch so he was really cuddling with Sam.
words• 1253 words! XD
notes•haha I love Sean. he is so cute! XD
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Aug 3, 2010 0:36:08 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
sam couldn't believe that a cute boy like sean was standing at his doorway. it made sam want to keep him in his arms forever. he watched sean as he joined him on the couch. sam smiled, glad once again that sean had chosen to sit a bit too close to him. casually, sam leaned back, placing his arm around sean's shoulder. he played it cool, using the oldest trick in the book, but hey, there was nothing wrong with old tricks. the scent that escaped from sean's body was intoxicating, it was like a drug. sam was drawn further into him. sean was perfect, sam didn't care what anyone thought about him or sam's sexuality at this moment. all that mattered was sam wanted sean, and sean wanted sam, at least that's what the impression sam was given. he would never in a million years do anything like this if he didn't think the other person was as up for it as he was. but judging from sean's words and body language, sam had a pretty good idea they were both on the same page. sam was glad he had kissed the boy and made it clear that he was digging him. he had been terrified at how the boy would react to him, but the turn out was better than he hoped for.
sam chuckled at sean's reasoning for not being able to get home. "hm, true, and what kind of role model would i be if i was driving under the influence either?" sam knew where this was going, but he wanted to play a bit. "this is a problem indeed." he took a few seconds for dramatic affect. "no, no, no, you don't know the kind of crazy people you might run into." sam finally spoke. "i guess there's only one solution then. you must spend the night..." sam did his best not to look as excited as he felt. "you know, for your safety. and when you're all better in the morning you can go home. or if you're not better until the afternoon, that's fine too." sam had a feeling that was exactly what sean was looking for, and even if it wasn't, sam was more than happy to invite him to spend the night. it was a friendly gesture. besides, sam wasn't sure if he was ready for sean to disappear into the city. sam didn't know when he would see him again. that thought alone was exciting but saddening at the same time. not knowing when he would see sean again and finding him again was exciting, if only he could ensure they would meet again. the possibility of never seeing him again really made sam sad. he had finally found an opportunity to completely heal him from his addictions as well as make him feel like an actual human being who can love again, he was not going to let this get away that easy.
"so, since that's solved. tell me about yourself. i want to know everything." sam said, "and don't leave out any of the juicy details." sam was ready to hear sean's story. he was very interested in learning all that he could about sean. there was something about him that intrigued sam. he wasn't sure what it was quite yet. he hoped sean would be able to help him figure out what it was that made sean so special. but sam didn't want to rush, he enjoyed the game, the mysterious boy who had joined him on the hood of his car and now in his apartment was worth it. a year ago, he didn't expect to be anywhere near finding someone to care for. he was just trying to get his next fix to make him feel alive again. being clos to someone brought a new life into sam that he had never gotten from the drugs, no matter how much he had smoked. it was a good feeling, to have something that doesn't kill him to live for. it may sound crazy, but sam was already picturing them going on countless dates and having good times that would get rid of the bad ones. there was a lot of potential with sean, more than sam thought possible. the only problem was he was already beginning to wonder if he deserved this. sean was too good for him, sam could already tell. he had nothing to hide, nothing to fear about. he was much stronger than sam, that's for sure.
this was all too good to be happening, especially for sam. he was a former drug addict. he had hit rock bottom. it wasn't possible for him to reach the top again. but here it was, sitting next to him. was this god's second chance for sam? or was he just playing with him? leave it to sam to get so worried about nothing. he didn't know what sean saw in him. if sam were in his position, he'd probably run and hide. never knowing if his partner would accidentally slip one night and cause a lot of pain. sam couldn't possibly think of ever doing that to sean, but he had done a lot of things he had never thought he would ever do. that was a different person invading sam. it was gone now, but every day sam lived in fear of it returning. tonight when he had parked in the bar, it was close to finding him again. fortunately sean came to the rescue. maybe that's why sam admired him. sean came in the nick of time and saved him a lot of regret. he was like his knight in shining armor.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 946
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: me too... total fail but i'm exhausted from work.
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Aug 6, 2010 15:11:23 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean was trying to hold back a laugh as Sam was talking. Sean knew he was just playing along with him. Sam was so cute. Sean was happy Sam put his arm over his shoulder. He snuggled into him a little bit more. Sean just couldn't be close enough to him. When Sam was done talking about how Sean could sleep over and stay a bit in the morning, he was kind of nervous. How was this all going to turn out? Where they going to sleep together? Or was it just going to be cuddling? Sean didn't really care wither way. He would be happy with either one, or both. Whatever worked for Sam. But then what was going to happen tomorrow? He couldn't think about leaving Sam. That sounded horrible. Would they just exchange phone numbers? That sounded so weird to Sean. After everything that had already happened and he didn’t have the boy’s phone number? He also didn’t know his last name, he should bring that up at one point or another, but not right now. They had just meet and already Sean was going to be spending the night. But Sean didn’t really think about it that way for to long. He felt like he had known the older boy forever. There was a connection there. And Sam had to feel it to, or he wouldn’t have let Sean spend the night. Or at least Sean hoped that Sam felt it to.
Sean wanted so badly to lean over and kiss Sam again. He wasn’t sure if he had it in him, but he wanted to. Before he could though, Sam spoke and Sean forgot all about kissing him for the moment. Sean was surprised, happy, and nervous, with what Sam said. He wanted to tell Sam everything, and he waned to hear everything about him as well, Sean just didn’t want to be the first one to tell. But he was going to. Sam had already told him so much, and Sean really hadn’t. So, he would go first. He could do this. “Well I was born in Florida. I have a mom and a dad. And they know I’m mostly gay, and surprisingly they don’t care. They still call me often when I forget and I have a great relationship with them still. I haven’t ever taken a boyfriend home to meet my parents, but that’s because I have never had a boyfriend to take home.” Sean said that and paused. He let it sink in. Sam was the first guy he had even thought to bring home. Stevie wasn’t exactly the kind of guy he wanted to bring home to meet his family, and jack was… well gone. So, Sam was kind of his first. “Everyone kind of found out I was gay when my girlfriend, at the time, caught her brother and I making out in his room. It was an awkward situation, to say the least, and she promised not to tell anyone, until I could figure out what was going on with me, but she lied. They next day at school, no one would take to me and I lost a lot of my friends. Very few didn’t care, but others dropped me. So when I came home from school that day I broke down and told my parents everything. At first they were just as confused as I was, and they didn’t really know what to do with me. But they came to terms with it and now they are pretty open to it.” Sean didn’t really know what he was doing. He was just going. Talking about his life before New York. But did he really want to tell Sam about Stevie? That was not really something he was to proud of. But he had to. He wasn’t going to keep any secrets from him. He was going to be open and honest with Sam. He had to be.
“So, I made it though the rest of high school and graduated in the top ten. I moved here to New York with really nothing, but then I started playing music. I had been playing guitar and ukulele since I was like, ten, I guess. So I really got into it when I moved here and I found a band. Hear the Beating. We got signed to Allisstar records and we have been together for a little under a year now, I guess. And there’s something else I kind of want to tell you. Just so you know. I don’t want to keep any secrets from you, so I’m going to tell you. And I’m sorry in advance.” Sean paused a second to gather his thoughts. “Okay.” He took a deep breath and then spilled his guts as quickly as is mouth could move. “I meet this guy Stevie, and we are kind of friends and I went over to his house just like a couple weeks ago and we had a fling. And I still talk to him, but I swear we are just friends. We did stuff, and I thought I liked him, but I don’t. So, I don’t want you to think there is anything going on between us, if I hang out with him. Because there’s not. I swear it’s over between us. But I am still friends with him…” Sean stopped and tried to read Sam’s reaction. He was preparing himself for the worst. Not really knowing what to expect. He hoped Sam would still want to be with him. Sean had a past. Everyone did, and he had heard some of Sam‘s, the drugs and all. But he didn’t want his future with Sam to be ruined because of Stevie. He was a great guy and he loved him as a friend but that was it. There really was nothing going on between them. They still hung out and all, but they didn’t do anything. Sean just didn’t think about him that way anymore. He dropped his head but then looked back up at Sam. Sean was nervous as could be and he was thumping his leg against the floor like his life depended on it. But he tried not to show just how scared he really was. He took a deep breath, and tried to relax. Sean hoped that because he was so understanding, Sam could find it in his heart to do the same.
words• 1106 words! XD
notes•haha I love Sean. he is so cute! XD
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Aug 9, 2010 22:36:32 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars sam could get used to this: cuddling with sean. it just came so naturally with him. sean was a warmy, cuddly kind of guy. sam couldn't help but wrap his arms around him. he enjoyed the feeling of the other boy's body pressed against his. the feeling of someone close who knew so much about sam. well, what could he really know, they only just met. but sam had told him something he hasn't even told his closest friends yet, aside from his brother and sister. not many people knew about sam's drug problem. him and his sisters had made sure of it. if his brother and sister knew that sam had told another person and word got out, they would be furious. but sean wouldn't say anything, sam could tell it just by looking at him. sam felt he could trust his life with him, though it might be pushing it. still, that wasn't a thought to be completely cleared from his head. sam wanted so much to learn about this boy. sam liked listening to his friends, but he had never really asked them to talk about themselves, they would anyway, so for sam to ask sean to talk about himself was a big step. sam listened, trying to keep his movement to a minimum in order to not disturb or interrupt sean.
what he was saying really surprised sam. not the gay part, sam had already cleared that question up when he had kissed sean and he didn't pull away. he was surprised his parents had accepted it. sam hadn't told his parents about his sexuality yet. it might be a bit too much for his mother to hear. with having to raise three kids on her own, work several different jobs, finding out one of her kids were gay might kill her. as for his dad, he'd have to be around for sam to tell. sam wasn't sure if he had told his brother and sister yet. he was pretty sure they knew, but sam hadn't really confessed to either one of them. the only person who knew, well according to what the stunt sam had pulled on him, was sean. that was yet another huge secret that sean knew about him. as sean told him about his relationship and bringing home someone to meet his parents, sam started to wonder what might happen if sam introduced sean to his family and told him he was sam's boyfriend. that would surely be a good way of coming out. it'd be a great kick to see the reactions on their faces, but apart of him was scared of them being even more of a disappointment. as sean continued to talk about himself, sam started to feel guilty. he wanted to hurt everyone who had hurt sean for finding out about his sexuality, especially the girl who blabbed. his story sure made sam sorry for the boy. he was so kind hearted, why would someone go and ruin his life like that? sam had to refrain himself from taking sean under his arm and hugging him, telling him that everything is okay. he seemed to be fine about it now, but sam knew the horrible effects of peers. that was one of the reasons why sam had never told any people about his attraction towards both guys and girls. he was being selfish, and the fact that sean had been forced to come out made sam nervous. what if something like that happened to him, where he was forced to tell the truth before he was ready. sam had always imagined what it would be like to come out finally and tell everyone, but he just wasn't ready.
hearing about sean's coming out made sam realize that he should come out before it really kicks him in the butt. literally. sam was really impressed by how well sean handled it, though he could tell it wasn't easy for him. he smiled when sean had said he was in a band. sam was also in a band, so it made whatever they had, all the better. sam was surprised sean trusted him enough to share a lot about himself. sam had not expected to hear everything he heard. part of it made him smile, while the other part tore his heart out. he was already getting that protective personality over sean like a lover does to their mate. he was a bit hurt by sean's words, though sam knew he wasn't a saint either, especially with his past. it would sound very hypocritical to get mad at sean for that. so he played it cool and nodded. he didn't really know what to say after sean. he liked how the boy had so easily opened up to him. it was relaxing to feel that the boy was really interested in talking to him. "wow, well when i asked you about your life, i didn't expect to get such a huge response..." sam replied finally, "but i really do appreciate it." he smiled.
"and don't worry about stevie. we all do things that we think are good or fun at the time and then regret it later." sam said, kind of referencing to himself as well. "but i'm glad to know you guys still remained friends." sam hated when two people break up or end their fling, they can't still be friends. it was like an unspoken law that to exs can not be friends. sam thought it was stupid, and he was glad that sean had the same amount of sanity to not let it ruin a friendship. that made sam more into him, knowing that if he ever were lucky enough to get with him, and something happens, they would always be friends. he looked at sean, glad that the boy was able to wrap up his life into a few minutes, though sam still wanted to know more. he just couldn't get enough of him. sam wanted to console the boy for talking about a few things that were a bit personal. his free hand linked arms with sam's arm that was on sean's other shoulder, holding sean into a hug.
"well, i guess it's my turn now." sam said, though he really didn't have much stories to talk about love. "first off, only three people know about my sexuality. my brother, my sister, and now you. i want to tell my mother, but after all she's been through, it might kill her. as for my father, well, he's never been in the picture. as for bringing people home, my mother's always pestering me, but i just haven't found the right person to bring home that she'll like." sam really didn't have anything to say about his coming out, since he was still in the closet. he was a bit afraid to come out, not only because of people finding out, but of all the adored fans who would be crushed. besides, he didn't want to give the media any more tips to ruin him and his band's image. other than his drug addictions, he really didn't have too much excitement going for him. he had a few flings himself, yes, but he never remained friends with any of them, nor could he remember their names all that well. hell, they'd be lucky if he even recognized their face. "but yeah, it's okay. honestly i've had a few crazy times, as you can probably tell. i've had a few flings, they usually remember me, and i don't remember them..." sam probably sounded like a jerk. "but no need to worry, i'm not that guy anymore." if sean couldn't tell, sam was really embarrassed about his past, especially his addiction. he really didn't like the person he had become. it's interrupted the person he was growing into. he hoped this new kid would help him get back on track for the person he was meant to be.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: one thousand something xD
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: omg i'm so sorry for making you wait for freaking long. i'm leaving in college in about a week so i've been extremely busy. i've had this about two thirds done for awhile so i forced myself to reply
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Aug 13, 2010 20:33:29 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean got distracted easily, but when he was with Sam, it was almost like he forgot to get distracted. He was so wrapped up in him. And the snuggling was a bonus. Sean could not be more happy in Sam's arms. He was just so contented right there. He blushed a little when Sam was talking about how he didn't expect to hear that much about his life. Sean had a knack for over talking. He tended to ramble a lot. But when he was talking, he could just keep going. Sean was happy that he appreciated it though. It was rare when someone actually wanted to listen to Sean talk. There were a lot of times when Sean would talk, even though he knew that no one was really listening or caring what he had to say. So, this whole thing was different for him. He was so happy though. Everything just seemed so amazing with Sam. He seemed to be pretty cool with the whole Stevie thing. And that was what he was most worried about with him. Sean knew that Sam wasn't exactly great in the past, but it just seemed different with Stevie, like it was just something that Sam should know. Sean really didn't feel like he had to keep anything for the older boy. There was nothing he couldn't tell him. But things were moving kind of fast. Sean and Sam had only just meet that night, but it felt like so much longer. Sean felt like they just clicked together like puzzle pieces. Sean this was kind as far as Sean wanted to go tonight. Just this cuddling thing. Sean felt like sleeping with him on the first night was not a good idea. He didn’t want to ruin this with Sam.
Sean listened to Sam as he told him about himself. It was nice to do some listening for once. He didn't think that most people would ever really talk to Sean, because he had a tendency to not listen really well, but he was actually a great listener. It just didn't look like he was. Sean spaced out a lot, but he was always listening. But when no one was really talking to Sean he was oblivious to the world. Even when things were plainly written right in front of him. Sean just didn't notice the plain and obvious. That was just how he was though. Always had a different way of looking at thing, or not looking at things. He was strange. but he liked being that way. It made him feel different, but to him that was a good thing. He didn't want to be just like everyone else. That just seemed so boring to him. Sean loved being different. But it wasn't always fun to be so different. Sometimes it was like no one understood him. So it was nice to talk to Sam, and maybe not be less weird, but at least he would listen. And not just that half listening, but really listening to him. it was really nice. So now Sean was going to listen to everything Sam had to say.
Sean was kind shocked to hear that he was the only one to know that Sam was partly gay. He really didn't know what to think about that. But Sean couldn't really say anything. Sam would come out when he was ready to. And Sean sure as hell was not going to push him. He knew what it was like to come out when he wasn't ready to. And it sucked. Sean couldn't go to school for weeks after it happened. And Sean would never want Sam to have to do that. He could be patient and wait for him to be ready. Sean was an understanding guy. Even with everything he has been though, he couldn't see the bad in people. He always looked for the good. Tried to see it in everyone. Even if he was hurt along the way. He just couldn't bring himself to see the bad in anyone. He felt like everyone should be giving a chance. Even if they didn't really deserve that, Sean wasn't really in the position to say if they were or not. Sean was to much of a people person. He was just a cute happy go lucky kid. What was there not to love about him. But he still somehow managed to find a way to get into trouble. He never went looking for it and he tried so hard to stay away from it, but he was just to friendly. And that was not always a good thing.
Sean focused back into what Sam was talking about. Sean was happy to know that Sam wasn't that kind of guy anymore. Sean would still be his friend, even if he was, but he wouldn't let it go to much farther. Sean really was happy he could though. Happy that there might be hope for them to see each other again. There had to be. They already knew so much about each other. So they had to see each other after tomorrow. Speaking of which, what time was it. Sean realized that he didn't care though. When he was next to Sam like this, it was like time didn't matter. It was just a figment of his imagination. "Well, it's good to know that. It was nice to hear all of that though. So what do we do now?" Sean asked as he snuggled more into Sam's arms. He really didn't care what they did, as long as they were together. Sean smiled up at him. He couldn't really think of what else to talk about with him. Everything was going to fast, and Sean kind of wanted to slow down, but at the same time he really didn't. He was happy being with Sam. It didn't feel like they had just meet.
words• 1021 words! XD
notes•Sorry this is so suckish.... =/
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Aug 16, 2010 9:17:39 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
it was true, they were going a bit too fast, but sam wasn't going to reject anything from sean. cuddling was about as far as samuel was comfortable with. he didn't want sean to turn into just a fling. besides, samuel needed to take things slow. he was a bit rusty for not having a love interest in such a long time. nobody wanted to date an addict. that was just another reason why sam had to go into rehab. so he was really hoping sean wasn't wanting anything else from him, at least not tonight. they were still in the getting to know phase. sam knew that he had gone a bit too far with the spontaneous kiss back in his car, but what could he say? it kinda just happened. he felt guilty for it, though. at first he had thought it would be kind of awesome to sleep with sean, but now that he was starting to develop something different with sean than the others, he wanted to save it and spend more time with him. sam wasn't used to opening up. he built an imaginary brick wall between him and anyone he meets, but somehow sean had found a way to break down that wall within a matter of hours. sam was thankful for it though, he liked being able to open up to someone, even if they were complete strangers and it would only be for tonight. that's what made things interesting. sam didn't know if he would ever see this boy again. sean was just what sam needed right now. he had almost blown what took months to create. he had been contemplating going to the bar just for old times, but fortunately sean had distracted him. sean had already done so much for sam without even knowing it.
as he told his story, he felt like a weight was being lifted. all the bottled up feelings and emotions of finally hearing himself say he had a problem was finally cleared. he felt lightheaded, and the first time it wasn't because of the drugs. sam smiled once he was finished with his story. he didn't need sean to say antyhing, he knew there wasn't much he could say, but the fact that he listened meant a lot. sam knew he had said some very personal things, and likewise for sean, and hopefully that would bring them a bit closer. he could feel sean snuggling a bit closer to him, and sam realized that it had worked. feeling the other boy up against him relaxed sam. it made him feel no longer lonely like he had been for so long. it was amazing how quickly sam had warmed up to him. maybe all he needed was a new friend to make him feel better. his brother and sister had told him all they could to try to cheer him up, but it didn't work. sean didn't have to say anything and sam was already feeling way better than he had in so long. he laughed, not really sure what they could do now, but sam did not feel like moving at all. he was much too comfortable, and he didn't want to disturb sean either.
so for his answer, sam couldn't think of anything. he didn't mind sitting here and talking some more. he wanted to know as much about sean as he could, but he couldn't think of anything to ask him. he was already impressed with the way sean had been able to keep himself a happy-go-lucky even after everyone found out about his sexuality. sam couldn't imagine the kind of things that would happen if he too came out. first of all, he'd have to tell his siblings, and then the rest of the world. the thought terrified him, what if his siblings completely dumped him after he told them? they already dealt with a lot of shit from him, it wasn't fair to make them go through another life changing situation. still, he didn't feel too good about keeping it a secret for so long. besides, if he was going to hang out with sean as much as he was hoping for, he might have to end up telling them anyways. it was better to be frank with them from the start than to try to hide it. but what would they think? sam tried to ignore the question for now. the only thing he wanted to think about was to keep his guest entertained. "well, we can sit here and talk a little more. i've got some movies we can watch or video games. are you hungry?" sam asked, probably sounding desperate to keep the lad here. he was afraid sean was thinking about going home, although they had already decided he was spending the night.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: one thousand something xD
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: [ifinally it's up!
[/i] Muse :: alesanaCredit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0. [/size][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote] |
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Post by alice2 on Aug 29, 2010 16:07:04 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESS "Well, we can sit here and talk a little more. I've got some movies we can watch or video games. Are you hungry?" Sam said to Sean. And he listened to everything that Sam had just said. Sean thought that they should stay up and talk more. He wanted to know everything there was to know about the cute, sweet boy sitting next to him on the couch. But there really wasn't a lot to talk about. They had covered so much in one night. What was there really left to say? It kind of hit him all at once, but Sean was exhausted. He was overwhelmed with sleep. Sleeping sounded like such a great idea right then. Going to bed sounded like a much better idea than staying up to talk, even though he wanted to do that as well. But Sean knew better than to try and to get know someone all on one night. He wanted to have something to talk about with Sam in the morning. He wanted to learn things about him as they hung out more. Sean wanted the whole possess to be slow and steady. But not to slow, Sean was still a very impatient kid. Staying up to talk was a nice idea, or even a movie, but sleep sounded just slightly better. Sean had always been a cuddlier, so he hoped that Sam wouldn't mind that. Sean yawned once before he spoke. "Hmmmm, sleep sounds good." Sean smiled. He could feel his eyes closing slightly. "How are the sleeping arrangements going to work?" Sean asked with the same dopey smile on his face as before. He couldn't help but smile. Sam made him happy.
Sean rested his head on Sam's shoulder. He wasn't sure what had come over him but all of the sudden Sean was almost asleep on Sam, not that Sean really mined falling asleep on Sam, but they weren't exactly in the best position. They were just sitting on the couch and it was nice, but not a nice place to sleep. At this point Sean would have slept anywhere, as long as Sam was with him. Sean was actually kind of surprised at how fast and how much he liked Sam. Sean always was making friends, and he made them with no problem, he was quick to start a conversation. But with someone like Sam, it made things different. When he thought about how much he liked Sam, he thought and knew it was going to be more than just a friendship. There was to much between them already. It felt like it was days since they meet, but in reality it had only just been hours. It felt so crazy to Sean. But he was happy that he ended up at Sam's apartment. Happy he meet him at the bar, and happy to be sitting next to him right now.
words• exactly 500 words. FAIL.
notes•sorry this is such a fail post and double sorry that it is soo freakin late.
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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