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Post by samuel on Jul 14, 2010 22:25:08 GMT -5
 Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting starsah, the glorious parking lot. the barrier ground of where it all happens. it holds the lights, cameras, stage, and lots of adoring fans. of course, it all happens throughout the day until about midnight, then it's like a ghost town. sam liked to take late night strolls around the grounds. he loved how the scenes change drastically from when there are concerts going on and long after they are over. it was particular dark that night, there was some sort of power outage that drove samuel from the comfort of his home to the outdoors. usually, he would be surfing the internet, watching television, or hooked onto a game. but since they all required electricity, he was forced to actually go out into the world. he wasn't sure if anyone was up who wasn't out partying. it was nights like these where sam wished he hadn't overdosed on his partying days. but he had to remind himself the worst of such an addicting hobby. the bad outweighed the good, and once again, sam was able to control himself. still, tonight would be so much better with some company. sam just hated being by himself. at least when he was watching television, surfing the net, or playing a video game he was interacting with something through a monitor at all times.
here was just creepy. sam felt like he was in a ghost town. not even the streetlights were on, so he knew that it must have been a neighborhood black out, which was common in a big city like this, especially around places that constantly sucked up electricity. he was wearing all black in order to blend in with the background, but his face was pale white as his hands. he looked like a ghost himself wandering aimlessly around the parking lot until he found his own car. feeling he had reached his destination, he jumped on top of the hood and laid down. he gazed at the stars, watching as planes flew by. when sam was little, all he ever wanted for christmas or his birthday was a telescope to gaze at the stars. unfortunately, he never got that wish, but that didn't stop him from looking at the stars. there was something about the night sky that fascinated sam, just thinking there might be someone else gazing back at him. of course he'll never know, but it's nice to imagine.
a lot has happened since he was little that made him feel so insignificant. he was just one person in a world full of millions of people, and to the government, just another number to keep track of and screw over. though he may be famous, he may only be less infamous than most people. never did he think he would make it far in the music business, especially after he dropped out of julliard.but here he was, doing what he loved with people he really liked. sam's eyes drifted from the sky to the surroundings. ah, home. for once he wasn't running around, doing some stupid thing just to keep his and his siblings' head above water. it was nice to have them on board as well, that way he was able to watch over them and vice versa. sam didn't know what he would do with out those two. he sure had his close friends, but other than that, he wasn't romantically involved in anybody, and he was completely content with that. of course it would be nice to have some kind of relationship. there were a lot of people he would certainly hook up with. samuel was surprised how many very attractive, pretty girls there were, and even the cute boys. it drove his hormones wild. he knew he should just keep it in his pants, but at the same time, he wanted some love. there was nothing wrong with that.
as he laid there, he felt his eyes start to grow heavy. he stretched out his entire body against the cold, hard surface. finally he gave in and closed his eyes, and listened to the sounds of the dark. it's amazing how when one sense goes, the others get so much stronger. he could hear people with muffled voices talking, one person who was practicing their singing, the crickets in the nearby bushes, and cars that whizzed by. he opened his eyes and scooted up, contemplating whether or not he should find something to do or just hit the sheets early tonight. no way was he tired, he hadn't don much this entire day. it felt like a waste of a day. usually samuel couldn't stand to sit at home all day and do nothing, and just his luck the one day he actually does, the power goes out. its as if they wanted him to do something and now he's being punished for wasting a day doing absolutely nothing.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 816
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: wow, that's got to be one of the worst starting posts i've ever made. i promise the next posts will be like 1000 times better <3
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 15, 2010 16:02:19 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean looked around the small club that he was in. The alcohol he was drinking soothed his nerves. He didn't really particularly like being in a club all by himself. Seeing so many faces that he didn't know kind of over whelmed him. Not one of his favorite things to do, but he needed to get out and see what New York was really like. He had played at a couple different places around here, but that was all with his band. Now he was out on his own. He didn't have to worry about groupies come up and attacking him. Not that he was anything real famous. He didn't think that he had really changed with the whole fame thing. He felt the same, acted the same, and had even though he had to make all new friends he was still the same person. He didn't really see the point in letting things get to his head. If he thought that he was better than the ones around him, then he was going to end up losing them. And he didn't want to go though all that again. His senior year of high school was hard enough on him. He hated the way people had treated him, just because he mostly liked the same sex. And at the time he wasn't even sure. It was just a one time thing with his really cute guy, Jack, until he moved here. And then, he really figured it out. He definitely liked guys, but there was still those few girls that he would think were cute to. He still wasn't really sure what way he went, but it felt like he was more for the guys. He took another sip of his drink before he set it down to go outside into the parking lot.
Sean walked out of the club he and went out onto the streets of the parking lot. It was getting late and he knew he should probably be getting home soon. He had gone out for the first time in a while by himself. That was new for him. He always had someone else with him so he wouldn't get to nervous. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and started digging about for a lighter. He knew he shouldn't have been smoking so much these days but he couldn't help it. He smoked before he went on stage, when he was out by himself, and even when he was aimlessly walking around. He knew he should try to quite, but he couldn't. He had stage fright and the nicotine always calmed his nerves down. Made him feel more at ease. He finally pulled out a lighter and lit the cigarette. The tip of one end glowed a nice orange red color. He could already feel the rush in his lungs. Sean was craving them more often lately but he promised that he would never smoke more than a pack a week. He didn't want to be a hard core smoker. In fact he hated smokers. They always smelled of stale smoke and on the few occasions when he had kissed a smoker he could still taste the ashes and what not in their mouth. and it was not pleasant. ever. Almost like licking an ash tray.
Sean walked on a little farther in the parking lot. There were a few cars there and even some people in some of them, but for the most part the parking lot was empty of what appeared to be life. He did see one car though. It had a person laying on the hood of it. When he walked closer he could make out a face and the rest of the body. It was a guy. He looked vaguely familiar, but he didn't know where he had seen this guy. Maybe he was in the club? Sean didn't focus for very long. He hadn't had any real conversations in the club and this guy looked in need of someone to talk to. Or maybe it was Sean who was really looking for someone to talk to. Either way he was going to talk to this strange boy. "Hey, I'm Sean. Sean was a pretty bold person after a few drinks in his system. Okay, well he had only had like one drink... and he was always a bold person, but this time he felt stronger. More confident, for lack of a better word. He smiled at the boy sitting on the hood of the car. He wondered why he was out here all alone. It was getting kind of dark and not really a safe place for someone to be alone. Sean pulled on the cross around his neck. He knew it was kind of a contradiction to be wearing it, with him being mostly gay and all, but it made him feel same. He didn't believe that god would turn his back on him because he liked the same sex. In fact he believed that god was the one who made him that way. It wasn't a bad thing. Besides, in the bible it says that god makes everyone the way he wanted to. The bible also says that god forgives all sins. He pushed all thoughts of region out of his head. Sean didn't want to think about that right now. There was more important things that he could be thinking about.
"What are you doing out here all alone? Don't tell me you came to a club all by yourself. Tisk, tisk!" Sean said, even though he himself had gone to a club all by himself as well, he knew he shouldn't have. He put the cigarette to his lips and took a drag. He hated that he was smoking in front of someone that he just meet. He certainly didn't want to get a bad rep for smoking. It wasn't even something he even liked to do. He threw the cigarette on the ground. It was not even half way gone, but he was done with it. He would lay off them for a while. He didn't really need them anyway. Besides there were better and healthier ways to calm his nerves. He looked up at the black sky. There were so few stars in the sky that looked visible. That was the thing about New York, because of all the pollution it was difficult to see all the wonderful things in the sky. He frowned a little at the lack of stars. but he soon moved his attention back to the boy on the car. Sean really hoped that he would be a fun person to get to know. More friends would be nice. He just hoped that he wouldn't think of him as annoying like so many others did. Sean looked in the boys eyes. something there caught his attention. he didn't know what it was but he thought this person was going to be special to him. he didn't know how he knew that, just that he did.
words• a little over 1000 words... maybe...? notes•haha i love Sean. he is so cute! XD outfit• outfiiiiitcredits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Jul 18, 2010 13:10:15 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars being a rock star definitely had its perks, but with that, it also had downfalls. since samuel's been clean, life as a rock star has been very hard. with all the temptation nightly from drugs and alcohol, samuel was surprised he hadn't given into it yet. there have been a few times where he's almost broken his clean record, but almost before he takes a drag or a shot, he remembers the downfalls of partying as well. another thing about being a rock star is the friends who you are allowed to have (which include only other rock stars in order to keep the paparazzi to a minimum) are always out partying, leaving samuel behind because of his record. tonight was just like any other. while all his buddies were out drinking their minds out, probably getting into some trouble, sam was stuck back on the bus with only a computer screen to entertain him. that would have been perfectly fine if the damn electricity didn't go out, leaving sam stuck with his member out throbbing. the only thing bad about watching porn on the internet was in rare cases where he loses it, being stuck to finish on his own. luckily for him he was nearly done, so it wasn't much of a problem, but it was no where near the kind of action his band mates would get with their drunken one night stands. sam missed those. for the last few weeks, he's felt lonely and needed some company, especially in bed. he was getting a bit tired of hearing his roommates have all the fun while he has to drown out the sounds with music.
so then why was he here? out of all the places and parking lots he could park his car, why did he pick outside a club? especially the club he's walked in and out of a million times before, the last time he was escorted on a stretcher. looking at the doors of the front of the club reminded him of the worst thing about partying. he knew he was not going into that club ever again, but it felt good to be outside it. he could almost smell the drugs and his heart race, wanting just a small little taste. sam knew that even the slightest taste of the drugs would cause him to want more, and knowing himself, he wouldn't be able to control his needs. once an addict, always an addict, he remembered his old drug dealer told him when sam had told him he quit. sam was sure he would prove him wrong, but he was starting to wonder if it were true. if it wasn't true, why was he wasting his time hanging out in front of a club? it was pathetic, probably just as pathetic as sam was. at least he still had his cigarettes... though a lot of good they would do. he looked back at the club, watching people enter and exit to their cars, hoping that someone would recognize him enough to talk to him, but most people were exiting in packs. he was about to give up and just head in for the night, when he saw someone exit the club alone. he watched the silhouette walk, trying to make out them judging by their figure. he didn't see any outlines of breasts, so he figured it was a guy. when the figure became easier to figure out, sam concluded that it was indeed male. he only then just realized that they were walking to him. he looked around to see that no car were parked near him, and then was startled by a voice.
he looked at the boy who surprised him at how close he had reached him since he looked away. sam smiled at the boy. he was rather cute, he had to admit. just about the right height and weight for him. "hey sean, the name's sam." sam replied casually, trying to hold back his excitement. sam drew attention to the cross the boy was tugging around his neck and he felt his stomach drop. just great, he was some little christian boy. all the cute guys had to be straight... but wait a minute, wasn't he just at the club. unless sam's eyes were deceiving him, he had seen the boy come out of the doors of the club. christians didn't usually go to places like this. then what was the deal with the cross? he brought his attention back to the boy's face when he spoke and chuckled. "i should be asking you the same question." sam teased. "why don't you join me so i am no longer alone." sam scooted a bit to the side to give him room. "unless you're with someone." sam replied, looking back at the doors to see if anyone had come to claim him. when no one seemed to be there, sam looked back at him, patting the space next to him that seemed to be more than enough room for the boy to sit and stretch out. he laid back down and took out his own pack of cigarettes and a lighter. he lit the cigarette and took a long hit of it, inhaling it and holding it in his mouth for a few seconds before exhaling it in small circles. he looked down at the boy between his legs and said, "are you coming up or not?" he asked. sam had hoped he would come up. this boy seemed like someone he wanted to get to know, even with the cross hanging by his neck,. sam felt something between them, but he couldn't put his finger on it just yet as to what this feeling was, but it was a nice feeling, a feeling sam would like to get used to. all of a sudden he no longer felt the temptations of the alocohol or drugs in his system. though smoking usually calmed down the temptation, it never completely gotten rid of it. sam started to wonder if the boy had any affect to it or not.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 1017
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: sorry for the long wait, but here it is.
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 18, 2010 20:09:58 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESS Sean smiled at the boy on the hood of the car. Hey Sean, the name's Sam. he heard the words echo in his head. Sam. That was a nice name. Sean and Sam. That was cute. They almost kind of sort of rhymed. He was definitely cute and seemed like someone that Sean wanted to talk to. “Nope, I’m here all alone. So that last statement was kind of stupid of me to say. I feel like such a contradiction.” Sean laughed a little laugh thinking back to his other thoughts about the cross. He noticed that he was messing with it again. He wasn’t even sure why he still wore the damn thing. His parents had given it to him when he was nine. He had never taken it off until he came out to them. And his coming out story was definitely an inserting one. But that was a story for a different time. Then he felt like he shouldn’t be allowed to wear it any more. Like just that alone was going to sent him straight to hell. But then he started thinking differently around the time he moved out. He thought about why god had made him like that. Maybe that was the way he was supposed to be. Mostly gay. He just couldn’t seem to push that thought out of his head tonight. Maybe this boy, Sam, could distract him for some time. There was definitely a nice feeling surrounding him. Like something was almost pulling him towards him. He didn’t try and fight it. He was done fighting how he felt. He was going to accept how he felt and just take everything in as it came. He was going to be positive about more things that came at him. He liked the way Sam made him feel. Like he wasn’t going to judge him.
Before Sean could completely gather his thoughts Sam spoke again. "I should be asking you the same question. Why don't you join me so I am no longer alone. Unless you're with someone." Sean smiled. Sam was so cute. He watched as the boy scooted over to make room for him on the hood. Sean hesitated for a second. Yes he did want to sit up on the hood of the car. He did want to spend some time talking to Sam. He wanted to get to know the boy. He just didn't know. Sean didn’t even realized that he had been invited up to sit on the hood of the car with him. He just stood there like an idiot. "Are you coming up or not?" he heard the older boy say to him. He smiled and shook his head yes. He climbed up to sit next to Sam. There was plenty of room for him but he sat a little closer to Sam that necessary. “Well, it looks like its just going to be us tonight.” Sean smiled. He looked back out at the club he had just walked out of. He could still hear the faint music coming from just behind the walls. He could even picture the way it was arranged and everything. See the people dancing and drinking and laughing and just having fun. Sean quickly turned his attention back toward Sam though. He needed to stop getting distracted so easily. “So what brings you out to this parking lot?” Sean asked. He couldn’t keep the silence. He had never felt comfortable without something else being there. some kind of noise, any noise in fact. He liked having noise around him. Music was what gave him peace. The way it flowed through his body and out of his soul. He loved him music. weather he was playing it, or just simply listening to it. He smiled to himself again. He was in such a good mood sitting here next to Sam. He got a nice vibe off of him.
Sean laid back on the car and took in a deep breath. He could smell the smoke coming from the cigarette in Sam's hands. He could still feel the nicotine working through his vains. Sean hated the way that a substance could do that. Take over his body and control him. It actually scared him to think about it. He knew that's exactly what the cigarettes were doing to him, but he ignored it half the time. The other part of the time though, he was scared. Scared that he was going to get tied up in worst drugs. Scared that he wasn't going to be able to stop when he wanted to. But the thing that scared him the most was thinking that it might become his life. That he would lose the ones around him and makes drugs his whole life.They were all really thoughts though. He only smoked. And he never smoked anything other than cigarettes. He had never tired pot or anything worst than that. Sean was scared though that he wasn't going to be able to say no. He had always been able to say no in the past. Moving to New York had changed him a little bit though. He was definitely more open to trying new things. Which is good to a point. But he wasn't going to think about that right now. He was going to talk to Sam and have a good time. Right?
words• about 930?
notes•haha i love Sean. he is so cute! XD
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Jul 19, 2010 20:10:08 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
it was a beautiful night out, sam had to admit. he wasn't much of an outdoors kind of person, unless he's performing for a loud crowd. even then, he hated sweating and extreme temperatures. he also hated being extremely cold as well. but tonight, it was like it was just right for him. he still found it weird that he let his subconscious lead him straight into temptation, but the worse that happened so far was he met a random stranger and had a cigarette... if this was his idea of a bad time, sam would love to go it over and over again. the kid was not a complete stranger, now that sam realized it. he had seen him around before, probably plenty of times. it was nice to finally know the name to the face. sean, the name pretty much summed up the impression sam got from him. he was cute and charming. sam chuckled at his reply. "it's alright. it's a good ice breaker. though if you were some huge guy asking that question to me, it might be a bit different." sam teased, trying to imagine a big guy coming up to him trying to hit on him and laughed even harder, nearly choking on his own smoke.
he cleared his throat and flicked the cherry of his cigarette to come off while the boy climbed up on his vehicle. sam was glad the boy decided to climb up and join him, it sure beat sitting up here alone. when the boy was finally situated, sam realized he had sat awfully close to him for the amount of room sam had given him. sam wasn't sure how to take that body language, but he pretended that it was indeed a small space and he put his arm around sean's neck. "i'm fine with that. i don't think we'll be able to fit another body up here anyway." sam said, holding the cigarette with the arm that was over sean's shoulder. sam pulled the cigarette close to his face, causing sean's head to be pulled along with it. he did it on purpose as he met the cigarette half way, a few inches away from sean's face. he took a hit off the cigarette and then released sean's head as he took his arm off of his shoulder. he chuckled the cigarette butt to the ground and looked back at the boy now laying next to him.
trying to think of something quick to say before he let it get too silent, he was interrupted by sean's voice. this kid was pretty outgoing, sam had to hand it to him. he liked that about him. it was so annoying when he used to try to hit on girls and guys who didn't try to strike up conversations. it always made it harder for sam to think of something to say, but with sean it was different. he didn't half to worry about the next thing to keep a conversation going, which always made it much more flexible for him. but the question asked, sam wasn't sure how to answer. should he lie to sean and tell him he had just came out for some air, or should he be honest and tell him he was just admiring the place from afar. the truth seemed kind of creepy, as if sam had planned to pick up some lonely person exiting the club. but sam barely knew the kid, he wasn't sure how he'd react if the truth did come out. he did, after all, came out of a club and found some guy hanging out around it, what can he really expect the person to be? perfect and holy like the cross hanging around his neck?
sam took a long, stretched out sighed before replying. "just thought i'd make an appearance, but when i got here, i decided not to go in." sam replied. well, that was true, he did come here to hopefully catch a few of his friends to see if they wanted to hang out, or at least that's what he was hoping would happen. but instead he had found something better and therefore was thankful his subconscious brought him here. "what about you? got bored of the club?" sam asked, wondering why the boy had actually left the place. he didn't look very wasted, but sam could smell the slight alcohol aroma around him mixed with another intoxicating smell that must be him. sam's nose was very sensitive when it came to sniffing out any drugs or alcohol. it was a blessing and a curse. one whiff of sean and sam could feel his insides grow weak and craved the taste himself. sam wondered if he should be frank with sean. the boy seemed to be pretty down to earth, sam felt guilty not warning him about his small little problem, but he knew that when just meeting new people, they don't want to hear your entire life story. that was to be saved for another time. at least it would give him another excuse to see him, even if it ends up being the last time.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 861
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: i keep accidentally typing sam instead of sean, their names are too similar xD
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 20, 2010 2:03:02 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean liked the boy sitting next to him. He could tell he was hitting on him and Sean let him. The arm around his neck was nice."I'm fine with that. I don't think we'll be able to fit another body up here anyway." The smell of the smoke filled his lungs. He could feel Sam's in take of breath, as he took a drag on his cigarette. The words the boy spoke echoed in his head. They could have fit another person up there if they wanted to, but Sean really didn't. He kind of wanted this boy all to himself. He felt selfish, but if no one else was going to claim this lonely boy he sure as hell would. He liked the way he was actually willing to talk to him. Sean would have talked to anyone and he was happy that Sam was willing to talk back. After Sam took his arm back from around his neck Sean took the opportunity to lay back on the hood of the car. Where Sam's arm hand once been around his neck felt colder than the rest of his body. Like after you have something sitting on your lap for a while and the second it moves, its like its the coldest part of your body. Sean smiled a little. He just couldn't help himself. He was in a great mood sitting next to Sam. Well, Sam was sitting and Sean was laying down. But it was close enough.
Sean laughed a really small laugh at his reasoning to come out tonight. Not that his reason was any better. "Just thought I'd make an appearance, but when I got here, I decided not to go in." It was a strange reason to go, but Sean could understand it. It was like when he went somewhere just to see if there was anyone he would know there. Just to talk and see others. Sean loved going out and seeing people. He was a little social butterfly. He could talk to anyone, if they would talk back to him. He didn't really care what people thought about him at this point. He was just going to be himself and be crazy. Sean was always the crazy one in a group. He's the one you see screaming when no ones talking, just to make noise. or the one you see jumping around on other people just to hear a laugh. Always the crazy, out going one everywhere he went. And he loved it. He loved being the center of attention. He would never try to hog it though. Sean just wanted to have a good time. He hated sad feelings and thoughts so, he chose to be happy. And who could blaim him?
"What about you? Got bored of the club?" He heard Sam say to him. Sean really wasn't sure why he was there to be honest. He had gone out to see if he would see anyone. Kind of like Sam's reason to be going out. When he walked into the club earlier tonight and didn't see anyone right away, he changed his mind. The club he was just in, really didn't hold his (extremely) short attention span. He actually found the place to be quite boring. Sean went to clubs all the time. He played in the club all the time. He was kind of bord with the same old atmosphere. "I really don't know. I mean I thought I was going to see someone in there that I knew. I mean I go there all the time and I didn't have anything better to do, so I just kind of went. But, when I got there and ordered a drink I didn't really see anyone that I really wanted to talk to. I mean I'm in the club all the time and I don't know the atmosphere was getting old. So, I walked outside and here you are. But I really can't remember why I came out to this club. I wasn't really expecting to see anyone and I knew most of my friends had other things to do. It was just kind of like a spur of the moment kind of thing. But I'm happy I did. Because now I have someone new to talk to." Sean smiled at Sam. He told Sam way more than he probably would have liked to hear, but he didn't care. Sean had a rambling problem. Once he started talking, he really didn't know when to stop. Unlike most people, Sean didn't filter his thoughts. It had never even occurred to him.
Sean looked up at the sky. The blackness scattered with starts that he couldn't see. With all the air pollution and lights that were always on, they were impossible to see. Sean missed the starts. Back home he could sit outside for hours at night looking up at them. Thousands of stars in the sky and here in New York he could barley see one. "That's what I hate about the city." Sean said pointing up at the sky. "You can never see the stars. And I know there there. Back home I used to lay down in my hammock and look up there for hours. When I was younger I would try to connect the dots. Make pictures and then make stories to go along with them. My mom always said that I had an over-active imagination. There are thousands of stars and you can't see a damn one here. Stupid pollution. I miss the stars. They were nice to look at and remind me of home. That home and here are still on the same planet. That there's a connection in the world to the place where I am now to where I was before." Sean paused for a second. "Wow. I don't think I have ever told anyone that." Sean looked over at Sam. Sean found his own hand searching for Sam's. Finally when he found it he linked their hands. Sean hoped Sam wouldn't push him away right now. He really needed some nice physical contact. And he hadn't really held anyone's hand in a while. He looked over to see Sam's reaction to him. He was scared to look, but pushed himself to look anyway. He just hoped he was still accepted.
words• 1112 words. XD
notes•haha i love Sean. he is so cute! XD
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Jul 20, 2010 21:42:14 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
sam was aware of the shameless flirting that went on between them, primarily him. sam wasn't the type of guy to hit on guys unless they made it very clear that they swung that way, but with sean, sam was already loosening up with him. he was terrified of how sean would react to putting his arm around him, and bringing him close like a kiss. people who saw from far across would have thought it was a kiss, but sam's lips brushed right past sean's cheeks to his cigarette. he wasn't even sure what drove him to do that, and he couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed by it, but seeing how sean didn't seem to mind it, sam calmed down a bit. he played the whole thing cool, hoping that it wouldn't later haunt him. hopefully this boy had thought of it as some kind of friendly gesture. guys were allowed to put their arms around other guys, there was absolutely nothing wrong with it. okay, so one was half gay and the other one might be gay, there was nothing wrong about that. it wasn't like they were undressing each other in public on sam's car. that'd be kind of hot if they did, thought sam. it wasn't even that late and sam's hormones were spinning out of control. he blamed the cute boy who had just recently been in his arms. but instead, he wanted to thank him.
when they finally were at eye level, both laying down on the car, it was easier to hear him. this came in handy when sean started talking. usually sam didn't listen to people who just droned on and on, but there was a bit of excitement in sean's voice that caught his attention. it was cute the way he talked and seemed nervous. his story sounded a lot like stories he had once had at that bar and all he could do was nod and laugh. it felt good to know that he wasn't the only one who had bad nights at bars. the last part of the boy's speech made sam blush. luckily the light that was provided by the light post was rather far away, so it wasn't very noticeable. "well, then i'm glad i was out here. out of all the parking lots and clubs, i was glad i chose this one to park outside of. i don't think i'd have any luck of getting company at the others." sam smiled, really glad he had chosen to stay here awhile when he had arrived. he almost turned back around and left as soon as he realized what a horrible mistake he was doing. but fortunately he stayed, for both the warmth and the company beside him.
sam's eyes moved from sean to the stars when sean started to talk again. it was like this boy was reciting his thoughts. sam had always lived in a big city, but he loved going camping and just staring at the stars all night. he loved telescopes and finding constellations. any time there was some stars or a bunch of stars, sam would be the first to locate all the major constellations he studied. as sean talked about the stars, images started forming in sam's head of a younger boy watching stars and using his fingers to draw imaginary lines to each one. not only was he cute, but he was deep. sam had never thought of stars being the links that connected everyone on planet earth. it was a beautiful thought. "that was a touching story. i'm glad i got to be apart of it." sam replied, looking at him back. "i see a shining star and it's staring back at me." he gazed at sean's eyes. after a few seconds, he broke free and looked back up at the night sky. "you know, when i was a kid i used to stare at the stars and with my imaginary telescope and a couple of books i looked for all the constellations. and while i did that, i used to imagine that somewhere out there someone was gazing up at the stars with me, so i was never alone." sam paused as he felt sean's fingers lace with his as his memory of being that little kid staring at the stars on the hood of his mother's car, holding his hands out and pretending like someone was holding it. sean's hand felt so real in the memory, as if it had happened in the past.
sam looked up at the dark sky, pretending that they were far away from civilization and that every star was shining brightly that night. "hey look," with his not occupied hand, he pointed up at a small dim light in the sky. "i don't know if it was there before, but i believe that's the north star. whenever i feel alone, i can always look up at the sky and count on it being there. you can always see it, even in the brightest of places." glad that it still held true for new york city. it always made him happy even in the darkest of the hour. it was his reminder that there was more out there than what he saw. the star represented all the rest of the stars, and even if it was the only star out tonight, sam would still spend hours looking up at the sky. feeling the tingling of sean's hand in his, sam squeezed it. not too rough or too soft, but enough to welcome it in his.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 931
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: i think they're both adorable!
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 22, 2010 10:16:35 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean smiled at Sam’s story. He couldn’t help but think back to when he was a kid sitting outside with his mom, or even sometimes by him self. “That was a touching story. I'm glad I got to be apart of it." Sam replied, looking at him back. Sean smiled back. "I see a shining star and it's staring back at me." Sean blushed when he said this. the words felt nice coming from someone else's mouth. Sean looked back into Sam's eyes. after a few seconds, Sam broke eye contact to look back up at the sky. Sean looked at him a little longer though, before he to looked back up at the sky as Sam spoke. "You know, when I was a kid I used to stare at the stars and with my imaginary telescope and a couple of books I looked for all the constellations. and while I did that, I used to imagine that somewhere out there someone was gazing up at the stars with me, so I was never alone." Sean turned to look at him again. It was strange how alike the two boys thought. Sean had thought the same thing thousands of times when he was younger. He liked knowing that Sam was, in fact the other boy, no matter how far away, doing the same thing. The thought went around and around in his head. Sean couldn't help but smile some more at the older boy sitting next to him. He quickly squeezed his hand. He couldn't think of anything to say to same and luckily he didn't have to. Sam spoke for him. "Hey look, I don't know if it was there before, but I believe that's the north star. Whenever I feel alone, I can always look up at the sky and count on it being there. You can always see it, even in the brightest of places." Sean looked up at the sky as well and Sam was right. There was the north star. Shining brightly right over their heads. It looked so close but yet so far away. It was probably the only star in the sky, but it was better than nothing. Mostly clouds of smoke and pollution covered the sky. Sean looked back over at Sam. He was happy to have meet him. He could feel Sam squeeze his hand back. Sean hadn’t ever expected to meet someone like him when he walked out the door only a couple of hours ago. But he was happy that he had. Sam was just what Sean needed. He hadn’t ever had a real relationship with another guy. Some guys were scared that Sean was going to get hurt because they were straight, but Sean didn’t care about that. He just wanted to have friends. Some guys were scared to talk to Sean just because he was mostly gay. But what did they think he was going to do to them. Rape them? That was not a thing Sean had EVER thought about doing. He just liked having friends. Yes, there were times he was a little bit to friendly, but that wasn’t his fault. That was just the way he was. So having Sam here was nice. He really enjoyed the other boys company. And if he just happened to be kind of gay as well, than that would just be the cherry on top.
Sean looked back up at the night sky. He didn't really want to be on the hood of this car anymore. He wanted to be somewhere a little bit more privet, even if it did feel like they were the only two out there. Sean looked around again and back at the club. Not to many people were around, but it was like everyone was looking at them, even though no one really was. There was a couple of people walking by on the sidewalk even now and then, but non of them had ever really paid any attention to the two boys. Then there was the few people that came out in groups from the club. Most of them ignored them and the ones that did see them, quickly looked away. Giving them privacy. Still Sean felt exposed out here. Had had been in this parking lot so many times and most of the time with the same people. But this was different. All the other times he had never felt exposed. This time though, with Sam laying next to him, he felt like the whole world was staring at them. "Hey, let's get out of here. Go somewhere, anywhere. I don't exactly have a place in mind, but I think anything would be better than in front of some old stupid club. Sean looked at Sam. He really didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted Sam all to himself. He knew he was being selfish, but he really didn't care. No one else had claimed this lonely boy, so Sean did the honors. And he was happy he had. He hadn't really been out with anyone in a while. It was nice to see another smiling face looking back at him. Sean was a people person. He liked to go out and make friends and socialize. That was just what he did. It had always been easy for him. He had grown up as an only child, but he was always out and about. Making adventures out of nothing and meeting new people all the time.
Sean let go on Sam's hand and it instantly felt cold, but he continued to jumped off the hod of the car before offering his hand up again. Held it out for Sam to take a hold of once again. Sean couldn't be in front of this club anymore. It was just weird to be out there. It no longer left like the old club he had played in so many time before, but some strange place with a different atmosphere. He was done sitting out here. He had a very short attention span and had to keep moving. He was a very hyper kid and just sitting there, no matter how great it was, well, he was getting antsy. He had energy now. Wanted to get up and do something with Sam. But at the same time he just wanted to be alone with him. Sean really didn't know what he wanted. Just to get up and go somewhere. At this point he didn't really care where. Just somewhere, but he knew wherever he went tonight he was going to be taking Sam with him. and that thought put a smile on his face.
words• 1147 words. XD
notes•haha I love Sean. he is so cute! XD
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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Post by samuel on Jul 22, 2010 23:03:22 GMT -5
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky- - - - - - - - - - - - are like shooting stars
this moment samuel was sure he must've been waiting for all his life. it was like his young child was predicting this would happen so many years ago. sam smiled, glad that he had the chance to experience it, even if it was corny and lame. sam was all about being corny and lame, he was a real hopeless romantic. it felt good to be able to show it to someone. sam wasn't usually romantic around the bus, most of his band mates were not interested in the sappy shit that he had to say. sam couldn't blame him, not everyone was gay and open to their feelings like he was. for sam, he'd spend the entire day saying cute things to get a girl's attention. it sure payed off in high school. those were the glory days. sam had nearly forgotten about what it felt like to have a crush since his last relationship: his addiction. he didn't even remember the last time he had kissed someone on the lips. it was as if he had no memory of his life before the drugs. but with every day it was improving. he was starting to have feelings towards sean that he thought he had lost.
sam enjoyed the silence they had. it was not awkward, in fact, it felt amazing being able to sit there next to someone and not say anything at all and nothing could be more perfect. he had completely forgotten about them having just met and felt that they had known each other their entire lives. he also almost forgot about their location, until he was reminded by sean's words. with that, sam looked around at the place, realizing that their current location was not as romantic as it seemed in his head. he nodded in agreement and reluctantly let go of sean's hand. he watched the boy jump down from the hood, and then took a hold of sean's hand again, using it to assist himself off. "hm, well, i don't know many places more private than here. we can try a deserted parking lot," sam suggested. "or perhaps, my place?" sam wondered how he would react to that. it had been awhile since he invited someone back to his place. it wasn't for the purpose he did it before. the other guys sam's hit on at the club were just one night stands, but with sean, it was different. "i mean, everyone's out, so there's no doubt it will be empy and private." trying to sound like he was thinking logically with his mind versus something else. but to be honest, sam was not intending on hooking up with the boy...well, not only hooking up with him, but getting to know him. without hearing an answer for him, sam got in the car. he opened the door for him to get in.
once they both were in the car, sam took off. "i'm sure we'll find someplace we can go to get away. my place will just be our last resort." sam assured him, hoping to ease the concern sean might have. sam was afraid he had already blew it with the small chance of becoming his friend. sam was not sure if he was gay or not. what was wrong with two guys just hanging out together who just happened to meet at the bar? neither of them were drunk. the only sign of alcohol was the faint smell of it on sean's clothing. sam looked at sean again, trying to imagine what might happen if he tried kissing him. sam looked back at the road, trying not to get any ideas. he was such a pussy. all the signs were there, sean took his hand, they shared deep conversation, he had to be gay. but sam didn't want to believe it. well, he wanted to believe the fact that he was, but he was afraid of what might happen if he's not, or at least not interested in him. the guilt was building up in sam's mind. before sean jumped to any thoughts about sam, it was best to just tell him the truth. it was better that sam told him now instead of later. it wasn't too late to turn back around and let sean out. though it would be sad to watch him leave, but it was for his safety. sam was not sure how long he was going to hold it in either, he was afraid it would cause future problems. leave it to good ol' sam to over think things.
"i'm glad we're out of there." sam started, not entirely sure how he was going to bring it up. "the last time i was there, i was in an ambulance for overdosing. after that i was in rehab." it felt so good to tell him, like a huge weight was being lifted off his shoulders. though it was awhile ago, it felt good to get it off his chest. not too many people know about it, thanks to the connections he had to keep it out of the media. he stopped at the street sign and looked at sean, realizing what a stupid thing he just did. mentally kicking himself, sam worried about sean's reaction more than anything. wondering if he had already let sean down sam broke the silence once again, "i understand if you've changed you're mind and want to get out of the car, but before you do, i want you to know that it was a long time ago and since then i've been clean. the worst i've done is hanging out at club parking lots and picking up a really cute guy." shit, did he just say cute? he probably sounded like some creepy pedophile.
I could really use a - - - wish right now[/center][/color] Status :: complete
Words :: 961
Tagged :: sean!
Outfit :: too lazy to do!
Notes :: sorry for the sort of godplaying... you can always edit that out if you don't want it! it would just be a boring post if he waits for him to get into the car.
Muse :: alesana
Credit :: This thread template was created by SHE'S GOT A POINT ?! @ CAUTION 2.0.
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Post by alice2 on Jul 27, 2010 14:30:19 GMT -5
SHOW ME THE SKYLINE AND I'LL SHOW YOU DECADENCE- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -A SUBTLE REMINDER OF HEARTS FILLED WITH LONLINESSSean got in the passenger seat of Sam's car. He listen to Sam say something about not know where to go and if they didn't have any where to go then Sam's apartment would be a last resort. "Well I don't think there are to many places open at this time of night, so let's just go to your place." Sean really didn't want to go anywhere but Sam's place, or his own. But he knew it was a mess there. He really did need to clean his room. It was starting to get out of hand. A nice laundry day would be good for him. He really needed more clothes. And he had them, he just didn't know which ones were clean and which ones were dirty. But he wasn't going to think about that right now. It was an unnecessary thought. Sean looked at the clock on the dashboard which lit most of the car. He looked out the window at the lights over head. His eyes shifting over things, but nothing was really holding his attention. He car was pretty silent. Not even the radio was on. Sean hated the silence. Even if it wasn't really all the quite. He could hear Sam breathing. He focused on that. In. Out. In. Out. Somehow it relaxed him to listen to the older boy breath. It was strange to feel like this. He had just met Sam but at the same he felt like he had know him forever. He liked Sam though. He made Sean feel more like a real person. Sean sometimes felt like he was just kind of moving through life. He had fun, but he didn't always feel like it was real. But with Sam it felt real. It was like that when he was playing music too.
For some reason Jack and Alison popped into his head. Alison was his first real girlfriend before he came out. She was beautiful. Long red hair, green eyes, and a body that any girl would die for. She was one of the prettiest girls in his school. Sean somehow got her to go on a date with him. He was really excited and couldn't wait. They weren't old enough to drive yet, so Alison's older brother said that he would. He was adopted, so he didn't look anything like his little sister. He was beautiful non the less. He had dark brown shaggy hair, bright blue eyes and a killer swimmer body. Caption of the team, in fact. Sean felt awkward in the car with Alison's brother. He was way more attracted to Jack, than to Alison. He didn't understand how that could happen. Alison was amazing, but there was something about Jack that was... well attractive. After a great night with a great girl Sean promised to himself that he would avoid Jack and just be with Alison. It was hard though, with Jack being her brother and all. After two moths of dating Alison, Sean saw Jack again. He was getting really to move away to college, so Sean wouldn't have to worry about seeing him anymore. Sean got to their house a little early to pick up Alison, and Jack answered the door. Sean could remember very detail about him, even now. The way his hair looked, what he was wearing, which wasn't much, and even the sent that he gave off. Jack invited him in and said that he could wait for Alison in her room. Sean barely heard him. He was staring at jack shirtless chest. Yeah, it was nice. Sean walked to Alison's room to wait for her. Jack walked by about ten minutes later, with still no sign of Alison, and invited Sean to his room. Sean could remember the exact conversation that they had had. Jack and Sean hung out for a while and still Alison hadn't shown up. Things got fuzzy for Sean at one point., though. All he could remember was that Alison walked in on Jack and Sean in a hot and heavy make out session. Guess Jack wasn't as straight as everyone thought he was. Alison was heart broken, but promised to keep his secret, but being a girl she wanted revenge. She told everyone she knew, that Sean was gay. Of course she left out the part about her bother, and how she really found out his secret. She couldn't have a bad rep about having a gay bother and all. Sean couldn't go back to school for weeks. Everyone was staring at him all the time and he lost almost all of his friends. Most of the people that lived around him were homophobic, so he wasn't well liked after his secret was out. It was that day he came home from school that he told his parents. And it took a couple of days, but they accepted him for who he was.
Sean snapped out of it though, because Sam started talking. "I'm glad we're out of there. The last time I was there, I was in an ambulance for overdosing. After that I was in rehab." Sean looked over at him, shocked. He couldn't believe that. He never would have guessed that Sam used to be a drug addict. The words echoed in his head, drug addict. drugs. So was he still using? Or had he changed his ways because of what happened? Sean didn't have to wait very long though to find out the answers though. Sam answered is questions like he read Sean's thoughts. "I understand if you've changed you're mind and want to get out of the car, but before you do, I want you to know that it was a long time ago and since then I've been clean. The worst I've done is hanging out at club parking lots and picking up a really cute guy." Get out of the car? Was he crazy? Sean was shocked, yes, but he didn't want to leave this poor boy. "Get out of the car? Only if you want me to. Thank you for telling me. I know it had to be a hard thing to do, but I don't really wan to leave. It was in the past right? Well, then its in the past." He said even though he was still kind of scared about drugs. Even the word. Sean stopped there. He could feel his face getting hot. The last part of what Sam said just hit him. Pick up a cute guy in front of a club? Did he just call Sean cute? Sean was definitely blushing now. He wasn't sure if Sam could see him but he was pretty sure. There was a street light almost right over the car and the lights on the dash board had to have given him away. "Cute boy, huh?" Sean smiled then. For some strange reason he felt like turning completely around so he was facing Sam dead on. He felt like hold his face between his hands and kissing him. Right on the lips. But he wasn't sure how much Sam would have liked that. It was also not something Sean did a lot. He was a bold person, but not that bold. But he really did want to kiss him. He really didn't know what came over him. He didn't want to look like an idiot though. What if Sam didn't really go that way and he was just being nice? Sean hoped he was, in fact, gay. It would make sense and mean Sean could kiss him, when the time was right. Sean just wanted to hold him. Be a friend, or something more? He didn’t know. All he did know was that he did want to be with Sam.
words• 1353 words. XD
notes•haha I love Sean. he is so cute! XD
outfit• outfiiiiit
credits• SERENDIPITUUUUS! |
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